Waiting for His Return

Luke 17:20-21

Being asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, he answered them, “The kingdom of God is not coming in ways that can be observed, nor will they say, ‘Look, here it is!’ or ‘There!’ for behold, the kingdom of God is in the midst of you.”

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Luke 17 includes an extending section answering the question of when and where the coming of the kingdom will take place. I'd like to walk through these verses and simply summarize what I think each verse is saying about Jesus' second coming. I am being intentionally simplistic, because I believe Jesus has revealed only a limited glimpse of what the end times will be like - but he's revealed enough that it should shape our life today:

1. Being asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, he answered them, "The kingdom of God is not coming with signs to be observed, nor will they say, "Look, here it is!" or "There!" for behold, the kingdom of God is in the midst of you." (v 20-21)

- The kingdom has already come in some measure, quietly and unnoticed by most, even though it is right in our midst.

2. And he said to the disciples, "The days are coming when you will desire to see one of the days of the Son of Man, and you will not see it. (v 22)

- We will long for His return, but we may be waiting longer than expected. The delay may be painful, especially in the face of persecution.

3. And they will say to you, "Look, there!" or "Look, here!" Do not go out or follow them. For as the lightning flashes and lights up the sky from one side to the other, so will the Son of Man be in his day. (v 23-24)

- Though already here in some aspects, it is also yet to come in its fullness; there will be false predictions and "over-realizations" of His coming throughout history, but we must keep a level head and sober mind at all times.

4. But first he must suffer many things and be rejected by this generation. (v 25)

- The king and His kingdom are inaugurated through suffering; the nature of His rule will begin humbly and continue to be characterized not by might, but by servant hearts who walk in the way of the cross.

5. Just as it was in the days of Noah, so will it be in the days of the Son of Man. They were eating and drinking and marrying and being given in marriage, until the day when Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all. Likewise, just as it was in the days of Lot—they were eating and drinking, buying and selling, planting and building, but on the day when Lot went out from Sodom, fire and sulfur rained from heaven and destroyed them all— so will it be on the day when the Son of Man is revealed. (v 26-30)

- There will be a final judgment and mankind will be surprised when the black shadow of their sin is finally understood in contrast to the light of His holiness and glory.

6. On that day, let the one who is on the housetop, with his goods in the house, not come down to take them away, and likewise let the one who is in the field not turn back. Remember Lot's wife. Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it. (v 31-33)

- Our understanding of the nature and progress of this kingdom should produce a present lifestyle characterized by a willingness to forgo earthly rights and possessions - a readiness to leave this world for the better world to come, and never look back.

7. I tell you, in that night there will be two in one bed. One will be taken and the other left. There will be two women grinding together. One will be taken and the other left." (v 34-35)

- Not everyone will be admitted to citizenship in this kingdom, and many will be surprised by who is who in the end. Though Jesus frequently reminded us of the ironic economy of "the first shall be last," each generation will largely fail to grasp this and fail to walk in the way of the cross.

8. And they said to him, "Where, Lord?" He said to them, "Where the corpse is, there the vultures will gather." (v 37)

- There will be no singular location for the final revealing of the kingdom. Where the "corpse" is may simply describe the universal decay and corruption resulting from the fall of mankind into rebellion against God. The "vulture" may simply represent the coming judgment of God.

Matthew, Mark. and Luke each chronicle the closing days of Jesus' earthly ministry by highlighting these judgment sayings. Jesus clearly wanted to equip his disciples with hope of his coming and confidence in light of persecution and perceived delay. We too can take heart knowing that He will come, and that His kingdom already makes progress among us, even if quietly and unnoticed by most. Though many will be surprised by their fate, for those who walk in the way of the cross there is eager longing for "one of the days of the Son of Man" - when His presence and reign will make all things new! May this vision and hope be our own and sustain us until the day he comes again:

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." Also he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." And he said to me, "It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death." (Revelation 21:1-8 ESV)

Faith in His Mercy

Luke 18:6-8

And the Lord said, "Hear what the unrighteous judge says. And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?" 

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This chapter revolves around examples of true faith, and each example defines faith as utter dependence upon the mercy of almighty God.

1. The widow. The first example of the persistent widow connects faith and mercy explicitly. Jesus teaches that our God will surely hear the cries of his people for justice. But then he questions whether such cries are even happening - "will he find faith on earth?" We are called to be like the persistent widow, who proved her faith in God's mercy by the unrelenting nature of her prayers. She persevered to the end and saw the merciful character of God proved true.

The rub: Is my lack of prayer because I don't believe He is merciful? And does this weak faith result from ignoring his word and not dwelling on his kind heart, displayed at the cross?

2. The tax collector. Along with persistence, our faith in God's mercy must be accompanied by undeserving humility. The Pharisee made a list of his successes. But God was more impressed with the taxman who knew he deserved nothing before a holy God.

But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, "God, be merciful to me, a sinner!" I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted." (Luke 18:13, 14)

The rub: Do I hope God will accept me for my list of good deeds, or because I simply have faith in his kindness toward the humble?

3. The children. The kids rushed to him, eager to see, hear, and touch this man who seemed to relate and sympathize with them in some unique way. The kids were often looked down upon in this culture, but Jesus saw them. He noticed them and paid attention to them. And Jesus defined true faith using the kids as his model and example: because they so unashamedly trusted him.

The rub: Do I come to him like a child, trusting he will accept me as I am?

4. The blind beggar. What if you had no possessions, no friends, no purpose, and no real hope that life will get any better? And no eyesight. You are blind. Then, you hear rumors of a healer who is both willing and able to make cripples well. And, he is walking toward you right now. How you respond in his presence will directly reflect what you believe about him. And this beggar responds in a way that perfectly fits his need and Jesus' ability to meet that need: "Son of David, have mercy on me!" His faith was dependent upon the reality of God's mercy.

The rub: Do I cry out persistently, humbly, like a child, like a beggar? Or am I the opposite? Occasional in prayer, self-reliant, presumed mature, secure in my comfortable lifestyle. Can this be faith? Can this be trust in the merciful character of God? Do I dwell on his mercies? Do I even believe in them?

Lord, remind me of your kindness. Let me never give up seeking You, learning about your mighty deeds and promises, and crying out for mercy on a daily basis. I am your child, you are my Father. I rely completely on you and stake all of my hope in your merciful love. Amen.

God's Anger: An Expression of Love

Psalm 30:4, 5

Sing praises to the Lord, O you his saints,
and give thanks to his holy name.
For his anger is but for a moment,
and his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.

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God is love.

The depths of this statement are beyond measure and libraries upon libraries of books could be written and still fall short of conveying the depths of the riches of God's love. We think about the kindness of God to send his beloved Son to die a shameful death in our place. We think about the sweet gentleness of Jesus who cared for little children and who promises to be a good shepherd to his wayward sheep. We think about passages like 1 John 4, where the very nature of love is shown to be rooted in God himself:

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. (1 John 4:7-12 ESV)

So, if God is fundamentally love, and he shapes and models the life of love that he calls us to lead, how is it that he is also angry? The Bible gives numerous examples of God's anger and wrath. In the Old Testament, we see the hardening of Pharaoh's heart and the plagues against Egypt bringing a nation to its knees. We see the anger of God poured out on the Canaanite nations as Joshua leads the Hebrews into the promised land. We see God's judgment revealed against his own people as they are exiled from the promised land and subjugated to the rule of pagan kings in Babylon. Even in the New Testament, we see God strike down Ananias and Sapphira for their duplicity and greed (Acts 5), and we are reminded by Paul that God's wrath is still revealed against all manner of unrighteousness found in mankind (Romans 1:18ff). So how does this anger fit with God's love?

I believe that Psalm 30, and several other passages, provide the answer: God's nature is fundamentally defined by love, but this love can be expressed in anger. Imagine that your home has been invaded and a stranger has abducted your child. You engage the intruder as they are trying to escape with your child. Your heart is pounding, picturing what horrible fate this person has in store for the child you love. That intruder becomes the object of your anger, but only in corresponding measure to the love you hold for your child. The greater your love for the one, the greater your anger for the other. But the love is what is fundamental; the anger is derivative, contingent, a mere expression or byproduct of the love.

One clear example of this concept is found in Matthew 18:

And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. "Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. (Matthew 18:2-6)

Drowning someone in the sea with a millstone around their neck does not sound very loving. But it is clear that this threat of angry judgment is completely fitting when the object of God's love is in danger. The innocent child is most loved when they are defended from injustice, even in a manner that conveys anger to the perpetrator of the injustice.

But what about God's eternal anger toward his creation promised in the threats of damnation in hell? How is hell an expression of love? This is perhaps one of the most difficult questions in all of Christian life and thinking. If I can imagine a God who does not condemn anyone to hell, am I not imagining a God more loving than the God of the Bible? One way to answer this is that our definition of love must not presume to be more right than God's definition of love, even if we can't wrap our head around it. That is one explanation, and there is truth to that. But, I also believe that God's love is reasonable and we must find a way to reasonably and wholeheartedly ascribe to God's definition of love, no matter how non-intuitive it may at first appear.

The only way hell can be an expression of love is by understanding God's love for his glory. The triune God has enjoyed the fellowship of eternal love between the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit for all eternity past and all eternity to come (John 17:20ff). The glorious existence God shares as three persons in One is the fundamental source of value in all the universe. To pervert, distort, undermine, or rebel against this glory is to go against what is most loving and glorious in all the universe - and anger, even eternal judgment, is the corresponding expression of love toward all that would be opposed to his glory. Any sense of justice we experience is actually a shadow of God's love for his glory, since our righteous anger toward crimes against the innocent is really our recognition that God's image in man is being distorted. When we are compelled to defend the dignity and glory of other men, we are truly defending the image and glory of God in man.

A final answer to our trouble with hell is realizing how God has expressed his love in giving us his Son, who takes the penalty of sin away and cancels out any anger or condemnation for those who put their hope in Him. The life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, and the offer of a restored relationship with God - this answers the problem of hell like nothing else can. So, when the psalms remind us that God's anger is for a moment, but his favor is for a lifetime, it tells me that the anger is not what is fundamental to God's nature. Rather, his love and favor and patience are truly his heartbeat. He is slow in one, and abounding in the other. Our experience of love and justice agrees, and the cross of Christ testifies to it. And for that, I will give him all the glory.

The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. (Psalms 103:8)

God and Money

Luke 16:10-13

"One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much. If then you have not been faithful in the unrighteous wealth, who will entrust to you the true riches? And if you have not been faithful in that which is another's, who will give you that which is your own? No servant can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money." 

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You cannot serve God and money.

This statement seems simple enough. But world history and the story of our own hearts show there is much misunderstanding and distortion of this very topic. We are a species who regularly twist God's good gifts by either ignoring them or worshiping them - and both are sins. Money is no exception.

We see the worship and service of money on a daily basis. Workaholics, gluttons, Wall Street fat-cats, white collar criminals, blue collar criminals, street corner drug deals, endless commercialization - the greed of the human heart can be expressed in the overindulgence of luxurious mansions, in the bitter envy of the suburban "Jones's" next door, and even in the materially poor who may have become chronically dependent on substances and disability checks. Greed can be found in any human heart and we are all prone to it - prone to be consumed with what we want, rather than being grateful and generous with what we already have.

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. (1 Timothy 6:10)

Here, Paul reminds us that money is a dangerous temptation that can lead us to all kinds of evil. Jesus makes the same point when he cautions that it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. He also tells the parable of the Rich Man and Lazarus in this chapter to drive home this point. Money can easily take the place of God, luring us away from faith in him with empty promises that claim to satisfy our deepest desires. Money is so dangerous because the fantasy of limitless buying power seems to offer so much and distracts us from the (actually) limitless promises of love and life offered in the gospel.

But there is an opposite sin related to money - ignoring and devaluing it completely. Notice that Paul condemned the love of money - not money itself. Just because something is falsely worshiped does not mean it is not really a good thing created by God to be used for his glory. Sex can be worshiped too, but we know it is a good gift if enjoyed in the way He designed it to be enjoyed. Money, at its core, can be seen as not just morally neutral but actually good - a tool that was invented to make human creativity more efficient and productive. The cultural mandate of Genesis 1-2 conveys that having dominion and wise stewardship over the earth's resources is integral to what it means to bear God's image. We image him when we build, when we create, and even when we use money in wise and generous ways.

The parable of the dishonest manager in this chapter speaks to both the sin of greed and the sin of ignoring money completely. Jesus clearly calls the manager dishonest, thus highlighting his greed and sinful behavior. But his shrewdness and cleverness is commended and given as an example of wise dealing with money. He's saying "If the greedy liars of the world can manage to turn a bad situation for a profit, how much more should the sons of God be able to make wise decisions with the resources and opportunities they are given?" He says we should be faithful with money in this life so that we can be entrusted with true riches. In other words, when we keep a budget, save for retirement, invest in a business, and give generously, we are using scarce resources creatively to image God and prove our wise faithfulness before God.

We must model his wisdom in dealing with the good gift of money, while simultaneously running from the temptation to put all our hope in riches which will never satisfy the longings that only God himself can fulfill. To fail in either extreme is to sin against our Maker. Mark Driscoll sums it up this way: "Wealth is a wonderful tool and a horrible god."

Fortunately, the gospel provides the solution to our problems with riches. At the cross, Jesus gave up the riches of heaven to make us rich in eternal blessings:

For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich. (2 Corinthians 8:9)

We have been given limitless wealth in being given God's own Son! Paul says we now have every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realm (Eph. 1:3) and if he gave us his Son, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things! (Rom. 8:32). Likewise, we are now called to use our time and money wisely and generously, fleshing out this gospel of grace in our own lives day by day. By doing so, we show that our treasure is in heaven and others may turn from the false idol of money and find riches in Christ as well.

The Bitter Son Who Stayed

Luke 15:1, 2

Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him. And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, "This man receives sinners and eats with them."

Luke 15:25-32

"Now his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. And he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. And he said to him, "Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has received him back safe and sound." But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, but he answered his father, "Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!" And he said to him, "Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found." 

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It was tempting to focus today's meditation on the parts of the chapter where forgiveness, compassion, and joy are so colorfully portrayed. The shepherd rejoicing over his lost sheep, the woman rejoicing over the valuable coin she had searched for so diligently, and the emotional reunion of a patient father with his wayward son - these parables tug at our heart strings and whispers to us that God has reached across the chasm of human evil and welcomed us home to be his children forever. Few chapters of the Bible receive more attention and rightly so.

But, if the opening and closing statements of this chapter are any indicator, Luke appears to be drawing our attention not only to the mercy of our Abba Father, but to the folly of ignoring and spurning this mercy. Jesus is telling us that there is something about this heartwarming narrative that many people will ignore and even despise.

Perhaps what is considered folly here is the idea that God has welcomed even those that we ourselves hate and distrust. Jesus dined with sinners and tax collectors - the outcasts of his day. This was outlandish to the religious leaders.

Perhaps it was the quickness of God's mercy that struck the leaders. Jesus paints the older son in the place of the Pharisees, and his reaction to the feast for his brother is anything but positive. This feast seemed completely unfair and seemed to ignore completely the gravity of the younger son's shameful lifestyle. He had humiliated his father! Now he is being celebrated? And so quickly? So soon after the shame had took place? This was scandalous!

Perhaps what seemed so foolish to the religious leaders was that the gravitational center of their worldview was so publicly discarded by Jesus and his love for sinners. The older brother's objections revolved around himself! Where's my party? How about a goat? I've served you and I get nothing!

Which shows so clearly who they were really serving, doesn't it? They were serving themselves, even with all their knowledge of Scripture and zealous practice of rituals. It was about justifying themselves in the eyes of their Father, rather than admitting their utter inability and running to him for the unfair grace that he so freely offers.

Unfair grace.

It is unfair for the younger son to get a feast! Ever fiber of our sense of justice agrees with the older son. But that's because we have gotten things so wrong, and missed who is really at the center.

My confession is that I've often acted like the older son, especially at my job at Humana. I get pretty competitive sometimes, and I am often tempted to wish for the misfortune of others, rather than celebrate when they succeed, even if they are promoted or recognized before me or more than me. This feeling of envy is the opposite of Christlike love, as Schaeffer pointed out in his True Spirituality:

"Natural desires have become coveting against a fellow creature, one of our kind, a fellow man, when we have a mentality that would give us secret satisfaction at his misfortune. If a man has something, and he loses it, do we have an inward pleasure?"

To covet, envy, and lust for my own superiority is the height of self-idolatry and is utterly offensive to God. The lesson for us is to apply the picture of the younger son to our immediate context, instead of living out the self-righteousness of the older son.

For me, that means working at Humana in such a way that seeks the betterment of others, that serves them without expectation of return or even recognition. It means being more shocked at my selfish interest than I am shocked at God's unfair grace. It means trusting that the feast will come and that my Father himself alone is reward enough for life's trials and tests.

It means joining the feast, for it is really all about Him.

5 Lessons on Love & Relationships

Hebrews 12:1-2

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

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Running can be exhilarating and exhausting. I always love the idea of going for a run, and the first 5 minutes are thrilling - the freedom of getting away, breathing fresh air, and using your whole body to propel yourself forward. But then it starts to hurt. It gets harder to catch your breath, your sides may cramp, your feet and shins start to feel the impact of each step, and you may even encounter a bump that trips you up and throws off your rhythm. Your mind begins tempting you by imagining how nice it would be to stop for a rest. You begin wondering if this is really worth it.

The Bible compares life to a race, and insists that we will only keep running and avoid distractions if we have our eyes fixed on the joy set before us - a vision of joy enticing enough to keep you running even when it hurts. I believe that our sexuality is like running as well. Whether God's plan for you is singleness or marriage, you must have your eyes fixed on the goal of honoring Christ in order to avoid the many pitfalls and obstacles in the way that will distract you and lure you down a different path.

I have been married over six years now, and I have a long way to go on this path myself. But I've learned at least five things along the way that I wish I would have known when I was a teenager. I hope these lessons inspire you to run this race and stay the course:

1. God Invented Sex.

If this is true, it has several implications. First, it means that God is no killjoy or prude. We were created with material bodies that were declared by God to be "very good" (Gen. 1:31), but God saw that it was not good that man should be alone. So, he designed and personally created a partner for man, because Adam and Eve together would reflect God's glory more fully than if he remained alone.

This also means that God himself knows deeper and more powerful pleasures than we can imagine, since our sexuality is merely a dim reflection of his glorious existence as three persons in one. Men and women were made equally in the image and likeness of God, and our capacity for relationship points to the Trinity. Combine the truths of Genesis 1 and John 17, and you get a glimpse of what our sexuality is really about - unity with our Maker and with each other:

Genesis 1:27 ESV

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

John 17:22-24 ESV

The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one,  I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.  Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world.

Another implication of God inventing sex is that he would know best about how and when this sacred gift should be enjoyed. Yes, I'm talking about saving sex for marriage. But before you start yawning, please consider this analogy:

If I gave you $100,000 to buy an Italian sports car, would you jump in right away and put the pedal to the floor, or would you first learn from someone with experience how to drive this powerful machine? Would you risk wrecking this valuable work of art, because you couldn't wait until the right time to drive it?

The reality of this for your sexuality is far more important than wrecking a sports car, because you are risking a far more valuable object (your God-given body) with a far more treacherous fate (the mental prison and wrecked body that you carry with you the rest of your life).

This leads me to my next lesson.

2. Lust is the Opposite of Love.

Lust takes. Love gives.
Lust destroys. Love builds up.
Lust turns others into mere objects.
Love puts others above yourself.

Setting these definitions in your mind can be life-changing, especially when you realize that the only remedy for lust is to replace it with love. One story that drives this home is the story of Amnon and Tamar. King David's son Amnon "loved" his sister Tamar and pretended to be sick in order to deceive her into caring for him, thus getting her alone with him in his bedroom. When they were alone, he forced her into bed, against her will and against her pleas to reconsider this outrageous indecent act. After having his way with her, we learn what his "love" was really all about:

Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, "Get up! Go!" (2 Samuel 13:15 ESV)

Amnon's lust turned his sister into an object - something less than human. Every atrocity in human history can be boiled down to convincing ourselves that others are less than human. And we do the same thing when we lust after others. You may easily agree that Amnon's action toward his sister was immoral, but do you see your lust as just as heinous and disgusting?  Jesus had no hesitation about saying lustful desire was equally as bad as immoral behavior:

"You have heard that it was said, "You shall not commit adultery." But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell. (Matthew 5:27-30 ESV)

Lust amounts to adultery, hatred, and dehumanizing of others for the sake of your sex drive. It is all about you, and ironically it will destroy your life and put you in danger of hell. But the opposite is Christlike love. If you have put your faith in Christ and if you enjoy the forgiveness and love that was purchased for you with his blood, then you will live to reflect that love to others, rather than using them to fulfill you.

3. There is no one "right" person for you.

No one is compatible with you. No one is that special magical person who will fit you perfectly and fulfill you completely. Our culture has flooded us with love stories that are completely unrealistic and will lead us toward great disappointment. For example:

Twilight: There is a perfect guy with no flaws waiting to rescue you from all your problems and love you unconditionally for eternity.

Eternal Sunshine/Dan in Real Life: There is an exciting risk-taking girl who will inspire you to finally live life fully.

Glee: Shallow rapid-fire disposable relationships will eventually lead you to the right person.

Serendipity: Trust in mysterious signs to lead you to love, even if it means hurting others you have already committed to.

These fictional human lovers promise to fulfill us, and their stories draw us in. But they are fiction, and sooner we realize that the better. Holding out hope for this type of person is in actuality another form of lust - its still all about us. I should say also that there are people out there who are less compatible for you than others - when it is time for you to pursue a spouse, you should definitely consider if you both have similar interests, goals, and values. But because you are both sinners you can never be truly compatible - there is no perfect soulmate out there.

But if no one is my soulmate, why pursue a relationship at all? The answer is that you are indeed designed to be in relationship, but not to fulfill yourself. You must be in this to serve, protect, and bless the other person, not yourself. This is true for those who may remain single, who are called to lay down their lives in love to dear brothers and sisters. This is true for relationships within families, like caring for aging parents, or putting the special needs of one sibling before your own. This is true for wives who are called to follow their husbands, and for husbands, who are called in Ephesians 5 to lay down their lives for their brides. This will be the real-life test of whether your Christian faith has any reality: do you believe that laying down your life for another person is better than just using them for your own satisfaction?

The beautiful irony for married couples who take this step of faith is that those who lose their lives for their spouse actually do find incredible joy together, because they are putting each other before themselves in a wonderful cycle of giving and receiving. This is a picture of the gospel: a selfless cross, followed by a resurrection of new life. This leads to my next lesson.

4. Marriage is like crucifixion.

That sounds pretty pessimistic, but if you believe that Jesus really rose from the dead, then you know it's not. Crucifixion was the pathway to eternal life for us, and marriage is no different. This is where my story comes in:

In 2004, I met a girl named Donna, and we dated for a few months. We shared a love for music, guitar-playing, and fellowship in Christ. We were goofy too. Our first date was actually a triple date that was kind of a dare between me and my best friends Joey and Mike. But after a few months, I could not avoid the serious questions about whether I should commit to Donna and take this relationship to the next level. In truth, I was scared - scared of commitment and scared of making the wrong choice. So, I broke it off and we became "just friends." After several more months went by, Donna and I continued to share the same circle of friends and see each other often. I actually got interested in another girl for a time, who I barely knew anything about, but God spared me from getting involved with her. In truth, I was floundering in the experience of my feelings for people, rather than thinking clearly about whether I was actually helping and blessing these women in my life.

One night, I got a painful wake-up call from my roommate, who was himself about to get married at the time. I told him about Donna and my longings to find the right girl for me. His words will never leave me: "There is no right person, Jason. I'm about to get married, but I could have chosen any other girl - it didn't have to be her. But I chose her, the same way Jesus chose to hang on the cross and STAY on the cross, even when he could have easily gotten off at any time. He committed, and that's what I'm going to do. Marriage is not about fulfilling you; it's about choosing to die for that person, and continuing to do so every day of the rest of your life."

This message fundamentally flipped my head upside down. It wasn't about me. It was about reflecting the love of Jesus by committing to one person who may or may not be a perfect for me. And then, I began to see Donna in a completely different light. And I asked her to try again, and today we are happily married with two adorable kiddos. And they all depend on me to die like Jesus every day. 

And it is so worth it.

5. Marriage is a joy worth dying for.

Will it be worth it? Staying pure. Avoiding sexual activity for years before marriage. Avoiding sexual activity for years and maybe never getting married.  Keeping my mind on my schoolwork, on family, and on growing in relationship with Christ and my christian community. It sounds like an uphill battle, and it is. But you won't win this battle unless you truly believe that sexual purity before marriage, during marriage, or even without marriage is all worth the cost. So, why is it worth it?

Far more important than the physical, emotional, and financial benefits of committed marriage is the spiritual impact to you, your family, and the kingdom of God. Donna and I have experienced this impact on our lives already and it has created a joy that is deeper than we ever imagined. Here is what that looks like:

Joy in marriage looks like driving away from our wedding reception, feeling so fully loved and supported by our dearest family and friends.

Joy in marriage looks like staying up late playing cards or sharing stories about our day while lying in bed.

Joy in marriage looks like gripping my wife's hand as the contractions get closer and our daughter's first cries ring loud in the birth room.

Joy in marriage looks like laughing hysterically together when your kids say or do something completely ridiculous.

Joy in marriage looks like finding out your little girl has been diagnosed on the autism spectrum and crying together as we face and overcome our inadequacy and weaknesses.

Joy in marriage looks like rubbing an ice cold snowball in your wife's face and running away like a little girl as she comes after you.

Joy in marriage looks like seeing each other grow in faith as God answers desperate prayers and sustains you through impossible trials.

Joy in marriage looks like loving each other until the very end, sitting by your spouse's hospital bed as they slip away after a lifetime of friendship.

There are too many joys to count, and they are all worth the waiting, the risks, the costs, and the dying.

Consider the running analogy again: God has set the racing path before us, and has called us to begin. He knows best how to run it because he designed it, and furthermore, in Christ, he ran the race himself to show us how the path of Christlike sacrificial love is the only way to honor God with our sexuality.  God is the author and perfecter of our faith, of our lives , and of our sexuality.

So, don't quit running. Keep your eyes on the joy set before you. He is faithful and he will give you the strength if you look to him for grace every day. There is a resurrection and a new life on the other side of that cross.

The Voice of the Lord

Psalm 29:1-11

Ascribe to the Lord , O heavenly beings,
ascribe to the Lord glory and strength.
Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name;
worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness.

The psalmist charges the heavenly host of angels to give glory to God. This is a foretaste of how God's people will one day have some measure of authority over the angels (1 Cor. 6:3). The rest of the psalm can be seen as David's reasons for the angels (and us) to give God glory.

The voice of the Lord is over the waters;
the God of glory thunders, the Lord , over many waters.
The voice of the Lord is powerful;
the voice of the Lord is full of majesty. 

This may be a reference both to God's personal meticulous hand in creating the world (Gen. 1:2), and God's deliverance of Israel through the Red Sea (Exodus 14).

The voice of the Lord breaks the cedars;
the Lord breaks the cedars of Lebanon.
He makes Lebanon to skip like a calf,
and Sirion like a young wild ox. 

We know from Psalm 19 that all of creation, from the skies above to the seas below, cry out in figurative speech, declaring the presence and power of God. And Paul tells us that because of this revelation in nature, each man is without excuse and will be held accountable for their lack of faith in their Maker (Romans 1:18ff). 

The voice of the Lord flashes forth flames of fire.
The voice of the Lord shakes the wilderness;
the Lord shakes the wilderness of Kadesh. 

Even the more dangerous forces of nature speak to us of God's presence and coming judgement. All creation groans under the curse of sin, but this is also the voice of God reminding us of our need to be redeemed (Rom. 8:18-25). I am also reminded of how C.S. Lewis explained the pain and suffering we face as a message from God:

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." (The Problem of Pain)

The voice of the Lord makes the deer give birth
and strips the forests bare,
and in his temple all cry, "Glory!" 

Here is the connection to verses 1 & 2 and the exhortation to give glory to God. These voices in nature, even the small details like the birth of a deer, are all driving us to stand in wonder and cry out "Glory!" I hope I can open my ears to these voices and be inspired daily to stand in awe of God. In this way, I revere him as king and can look to him for my strength and peace:

The Lord sits enthroned over the flood;
the Lord sits enthroned as king forever.
May the Lord give strength to his people!
May the Lord bless his people with peace!