From Doubt to Certainty

Luke 24:11, 52-53

But these words seemed to them an idle tale, and they did not believe them...

And they worshiped him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy, and were continually in the temple blessing God.

...............

We have reached the end of Luke's gospel account, and in many ways we are seeing the culmination of his opening thesis:

Inasmuch as many have undertaken to compile a narrative of the things that have been accomplished among us, just as those who from the beginning were eyewitnesses and ministers of the word have delivered them to us, it seemed good to me also, having followed all things closely for some time past, to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus, that you may have certainty concerning the things you have been taught.  (1:1-4)

Luke promised certainty, and he aimed to use eyewitness accounts and structured writing in order to achieve that end. Now after 24 chapters, we have traced the life, work, trials, and death of Jesus with incredible degrees of detail and order. Luke has delivered as promised, but this final chapter reveals that doubts are persistent things, even for those who were closest to Jesus. We already saw how his followers and enemies alike abandoned him in his hour of greatest need. In chapter 24, they will need some final evidence to take them from doubt to certainty.

The evidence needed for true faith is a balance of both reason and experience, with the foundation of both being God's Word. In other words, faith starts with the God who is there and is not silent, and we take hold of this faith by reason and experience. In this chapter, the experience is seeing, hearing, and even touching the risen body of Jesus, which displays his deity and power as well as his closeness and love.

And he said to them, “Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts?  See my hands and my feet, that it is I myself. Touch me, and see. For a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have.” (24:38-39)

In the same chapter, we see Jesus explaining his death and resurrection to the two disciples on the road to Emmaus.

And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself. (24:27)

Now, both the reasoning and the sensory experience were grounded in God's Word, without which we would have no basis to trust our senses or our rationality. In other words, to think and to feel and come to truth about reality, there must be an infinite personal God from whom these human capacities derive. We are made in his image, and he designed us to both think and feel to understand the world around us. But only in the context of his personal involvement in our lives, through His Spirit and by his written word.

In my life, I have swung back and forth between these two ways to know truth. I became a Christian at age 16, coming out of typical teenage angst and being introduced to God's love in a very emotional way, via Pentecostal worship. All I knew at that point was that God was real, present, and the only source of unconditional love. But I couldn't prove anything about him besides the feeling I had.

Years later, I arrived at Seminary searching for more solid answers. Previously, I had approached the Bible as a mystic source book, reading to find hidden meanings in the obscure details. Now, I learned about systematic theology, where the whole bible is broken into exhaustive categories and put in logical order. I read Romans for the first time, learning that my peace with God was not merely a peaceful feeling, but really a peace treaty, signed in the blood that was shed at the cross, in real space and time (Rom. 5:1). God's love for me was objective and as unchanging as the historically documented cross and empty tomb.

But as the pendulum swung, I began to lose my urgency in prayer. The dynamic relational aspect of my walk with God had been downplayed as I became more interested in philosphical arguments and proofs. I was forgetting that, while Truth is propositional, Truth is also a Person.

The disciples were still struggling with doubt when Jesus showed up in his resurrected glory. By the end of the chapter they were worshiping with joy and blessing God in the temple! What changed them was a Savior who explained the Truth and embodied the Truth, engaging both their hearts and their minds.

I pray that I continue to grow on this journey to love my Savior with both my mind and heart. He is worth explaining and defending intellectually. And he is worth seeking personally as a friend and father. Luke's gospel account leaves us with both challenges. Will we heed the historical claims of Jesus' deity and atoning death? And will we respond to the Truth with worship and joy in the context of a dynamic relationship?

Ross

I've been avoiding this post. But I know I will never move on until it is written. It feels like the last few tears that have yet to be shed.

I miss you Ross. And I'd like to focus on who I miss rather than the missing itself.

When we met, I was largely untethered. I mean, I knew the basics about life, and I wanted to pursue a life in christian ministry, whatever that meant. But I couldn't tell you how or why, other than a  subjective feeling of duty and several emotional experiences that had led me down this path. I met you and heard those infamous questions for the first time.

What do you do?
How do you do that for the glory of God?

I told you I was called to mentor young men and help them become men.

Your response: That's the last thing we need! All methodology and no content.

I had never faced someone so frank, someone who could read me like a book and wasn't afraid to wager an educated guess as to my deepest weakness and then show me a better way. 

The car ride home was quiet for me.

A year later, Donna and I were asking you and Lynn to meet with us for pre-marital counseling. I never would have made it that far if your son Ryan hadn't radically flipped my mindset about marriage. I had started to see Donna as someone I could die for, rather than someone I could use for my own fulfillment. And I know that wisdom originated in you and Lynn and the legacy you passed on from several generations of faithful men and women before you.

Our first session together, I had expected a book chapter outline or a research assignment. Instead we got magazines and scissors. Our homework was to create a collage of photos that symbolized what Life meant to us. You were exemplifying creativity and joy, over and beyond duty or obedience.

You welcomed us into your family. We saw Stone Soup in action. We shared laughs and meals with the siblings and fellows who shared the joy and the vision. We drank deeply from a well that can only come from generations of joyful celebration of human life. There were stories of kids climbing refrigerators, kids digging their own swimming pools, kids learning to embrace their "bent" from an early age and being allowed to pursue it without shame.

There were hard stories too, but those stories were often used as private warnings. You never spoke ill of anyone. Even if they had wronged you. You taught me how to love unconditionally.

And we saw you say goodbye to Lynn. Your partner, friend, lover, and joyful companion in many efforts. It seemed like you were half a man from that point on.

The work continued on. Maison de la Vie. Totomundo gatherings. Family camp. And this year, an incredible leap forward in effort. Publishing the baby games. Forming new fellows groups. Recording the Precis material. It was an incredible final sprint at the end of a long rich marathon.

The finish line. That was the image in my mind as we stood in the hospital outside your room. You were running till the very end, arms in the air, even leaping for the joy that is inexpressible. Christ in you, the hope of glory.

Now you see the glory, and not through a glass dimly. Now you walk arm-in-arm with Lynn again, basking in a light much stronger than the sun. Now you see the fruit of your life's work. Now you have arrived into the arms of that unconditional love which you so faithfully channeled to others, even to me.

You are a forever friend. Thank you for teaching me what that means.

Soli Deo Gloria.