My Story

This is my story. My story is about how Jesus rescued me and how my heart and later my mind came to really believe that.

In November 1998, I was 16 years old and I was spiraling toward ruin. I remember my time in middle school and high school vividly. I remember being lonely. I remember craving relationship and not knowing how to fill that vacuum. I remember the crushes. I remember nights lying in bed crying and not even knowing why I was alive.

I was a good student. I was a class clown. I had friends. I was successful on the outside, but there was darkness within.

But one night, a friend invited me to church and everything changed.

I saw people singing about Jesus and I felt something powerful happen. I heard that Jesus died for me. I experienced the presence of God, an awareness that something supernatural did exist and could be present in my life. And my friend's mom prayed with me right there to accept Jesus as my Savior.

I remember driving home just filled with energy! I had met God and I knew things were different now. I was not alone.

And life was different. I made Christian friends. The church's youth pastor stuck a bass guitar in my hand and gave me a stack of songs to learn. I learned through new friends and through new music and through hearing God's Word. I was starting to grow.

But then I went to college at Florida State. I started taking classes from professors who criticised Christian faith and treated it as a mere myth among other myths. I began to wonder how I could claim Jesus was the only way. I saw that other religions have community and compassion and music and mystical experiences. Why did I think my experience of God was more true than theirs? My heart had felt God, but my mind was not convinced.

One night, my dorm roommate, who was not a Christian, directly confronted me with these questions. And I didn't have answers. I went to bed not knowing if I'd wake up still believing.

By God's grace, I did not give up. I looked for answers in the Bible. I continued talking with my Christian friends and older members of my church. I read. I studied. I pressed on.

I came to Louisville to attend seminary, still hungry for answers. I learned about the historical validity of the New testament and the verifiable facts supporting Jesus' resurrection. I met several mentors who introduced me not just to apologetic arguments for God's existence, but to the full spectrum of the Christian worldview. I learned why the biblical view of the world is in fact the most intellectually consistent view on every major topic: on the nature of reality, on man's identity and purpose, on how we know what we know, what is the basis for good and evil, why do we perceive beauty and crave a sense of wonder, how can we thrive in our families, our work life, and our community. I started getting answers. My head was catching up to my heart.

Today, I am a product of my past, a finite person who is still hungry for answers and hungry for relationship. I am still a sinner and I still break promises and I still fight the darkness within. But I am also a redeemed sinner. I stand on the fact of Jesus' resurrection. I stand on the fact that my faith and my feelings are now rooted not in myself or anything I can do, but rooted in what He had done for me. These words are my hope and I know nothing can undo it or take it away:

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8