5 Lessons on Love & Relationships

Hebrews 12:1-2

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

...............

Running can be exhilarating and exhausting. I always love the idea of going for a run, and the first 5 minutes are thrilling - the freedom of getting away, breathing fresh air, and using your whole body to propel yourself forward. But then it starts to hurt. It gets harder to catch your breath, your sides may cramp, your feet and shins start to feel the impact of each step, and you may even encounter a bump that trips you up and throws off your rhythm. Your mind begins tempting you by imagining how nice it would be to stop for a rest. You begin wondering if this is really worth it.

The Bible compares life to a race, and insists that we will only keep running and avoid distractions if we have our eyes fixed on the joy set before us - a vision of joy enticing enough to keep you running even when it hurts. I believe that our sexuality is like running as well. Whether God's plan for you is singleness or marriage, you must have your eyes fixed on the goal of honoring Christ in order to avoid the many pitfalls and obstacles in the way that will distract you and lure you down a different path.

I have been married over six years now, and I have a long way to go on this path myself. But I've learned at least five things along the way that I wish I would have known when I was a teenager. I hope these lessons inspire you to run this race and stay the course:

1. God Invented Sex.

If this is true, it has several implications. First, it means that God is no killjoy or prude. We were created with material bodies that were declared by God to be "very good" (Gen. 1:31), but God saw that it was not good that man should be alone. So, he designed and personally created a partner for man, because Adam and Eve together would reflect God's glory more fully than if he remained alone.

This also means that God himself knows deeper and more powerful pleasures than we can imagine, since our sexuality is merely a dim reflection of his glorious existence as three persons in one. Men and women were made equally in the image and likeness of God, and our capacity for relationship points to the Trinity. Combine the truths of Genesis 1 and John 17, and you get a glimpse of what our sexuality is really about - unity with our Maker and with each other:

Genesis 1:27 ESV

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

John 17:22-24 ESV

The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one,  I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.  Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world.

Another implication of God inventing sex is that he would know best about how and when this sacred gift should be enjoyed. Yes, I'm talking about saving sex for marriage. But before you start yawning, please consider this analogy:

If I gave you $100,000 to buy an Italian sports car, would you jump in right away and put the pedal to the floor, or would you first learn from someone with experience how to drive this powerful machine? Would you risk wrecking this valuable work of art, because you couldn't wait until the right time to drive it?

The reality of this for your sexuality is far more important than wrecking a sports car, because you are risking a far more valuable object (your God-given body) with a far more treacherous fate (the mental prison and wrecked body that you carry with you the rest of your life).

This leads me to my next lesson.

2. Lust is the Opposite of Love.

Lust takes. Love gives.
Lust destroys. Love builds up.
Lust turns others into mere objects.
Love puts others above yourself.

Setting these definitions in your mind can be life-changing, especially when you realize that the only remedy for lust is to replace it with love. One story that drives this home is the story of Amnon and Tamar. King David's son Amnon "loved" his sister Tamar and pretended to be sick in order to deceive her into caring for him, thus getting her alone with him in his bedroom. When they were alone, he forced her into bed, against her will and against her pleas to reconsider this outrageous indecent act. After having his way with her, we learn what his "love" was really all about:

Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, "Get up! Go!" (2 Samuel 13:15 ESV)

Amnon's lust turned his sister into an object - something less than human. Every atrocity in human history can be boiled down to convincing ourselves that others are less than human. And we do the same thing when we lust after others. You may easily agree that Amnon's action toward his sister was immoral, but do you see your lust as just as heinous and disgusting?  Jesus had no hesitation about saying lustful desire was equally as bad as immoral behavior:

"You have heard that it was said, "You shall not commit adultery." But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell. (Matthew 5:27-30 ESV)

Lust amounts to adultery, hatred, and dehumanizing of others for the sake of your sex drive. It is all about you, and ironically it will destroy your life and put you in danger of hell. But the opposite is Christlike love. If you have put your faith in Christ and if you enjoy the forgiveness and love that was purchased for you with his blood, then you will live to reflect that love to others, rather than using them to fulfill you.

3. There is no one "right" person for you.

No one is compatible with you. No one is that special magical person who will fit you perfectly and fulfill you completely. Our culture has flooded us with love stories that are completely unrealistic and will lead us toward great disappointment. For example:

Twilight: There is a perfect guy with no flaws waiting to rescue you from all your problems and love you unconditionally for eternity.

Eternal Sunshine/Dan in Real Life: There is an exciting risk-taking girl who will inspire you to finally live life fully.

Glee: Shallow rapid-fire disposable relationships will eventually lead you to the right person.

Serendipity: Trust in mysterious signs to lead you to love, even if it means hurting others you have already committed to.

These fictional human lovers promise to fulfill us, and their stories draw us in. But they are fiction, and sooner we realize that the better. Holding out hope for this type of person is in actuality another form of lust - its still all about us. I should say also that there are people out there who are less compatible for you than others - when it is time for you to pursue a spouse, you should definitely consider if you both have similar interests, goals, and values. But because you are both sinners you can never be truly compatible - there is no perfect soulmate out there.

But if no one is my soulmate, why pursue a relationship at all? The answer is that you are indeed designed to be in relationship, but not to fulfill yourself. You must be in this to serve, protect, and bless the other person, not yourself. This is true for those who may remain single, who are called to lay down their lives in love to dear brothers and sisters. This is true for relationships within families, like caring for aging parents, or putting the special needs of one sibling before your own. This is true for wives who are called to follow their husbands, and for husbands, who are called in Ephesians 5 to lay down their lives for their brides. This will be the real-life test of whether your Christian faith has any reality: do you believe that laying down your life for another person is better than just using them for your own satisfaction?

The beautiful irony for married couples who take this step of faith is that those who lose their lives for their spouse actually do find incredible joy together, because they are putting each other before themselves in a wonderful cycle of giving and receiving. This is a picture of the gospel: a selfless cross, followed by a resurrection of new life. This leads to my next lesson.

4. Marriage is like crucifixion.

That sounds pretty pessimistic, but if you believe that Jesus really rose from the dead, then you know it's not. Crucifixion was the pathway to eternal life for us, and marriage is no different. This is where my story comes in:

In 2004, I met a girl named Donna, and we dated for a few months. We shared a love for music, guitar-playing, and fellowship in Christ. We were goofy too. Our first date was actually a triple date that was kind of a dare between me and my best friends Joey and Mike. But after a few months, I could not avoid the serious questions about whether I should commit to Donna and take this relationship to the next level. In truth, I was scared - scared of commitment and scared of making the wrong choice. So, I broke it off and we became "just friends." After several more months went by, Donna and I continued to share the same circle of friends and see each other often. I actually got interested in another girl for a time, who I barely knew anything about, but God spared me from getting involved with her. In truth, I was floundering in the experience of my feelings for people, rather than thinking clearly about whether I was actually helping and blessing these women in my life.

One night, I got a painful wake-up call from my roommate, who was himself about to get married at the time. I told him about Donna and my longings to find the right girl for me. His words will never leave me: "There is no right person, Jason. I'm about to get married, but I could have chosen any other girl - it didn't have to be her. But I chose her, the same way Jesus chose to hang on the cross and STAY on the cross, even when he could have easily gotten off at any time. He committed, and that's what I'm going to do. Marriage is not about fulfilling you; it's about choosing to die for that person, and continuing to do so every day of the rest of your life."

This message fundamentally flipped my head upside down. It wasn't about me. It was about reflecting the love of Jesus by committing to one person who may or may not be a perfect for me. And then, I began to see Donna in a completely different light. And I asked her to try again, and today we are happily married with two adorable kiddos. And they all depend on me to die like Jesus every day. 

And it is so worth it.

5. Marriage is a joy worth dying for.

Will it be worth it? Staying pure. Avoiding sexual activity for years before marriage. Avoiding sexual activity for years and maybe never getting married.  Keeping my mind on my schoolwork, on family, and on growing in relationship with Christ and my christian community. It sounds like an uphill battle, and it is. But you won't win this battle unless you truly believe that sexual purity before marriage, during marriage, or even without marriage is all worth the cost. So, why is it worth it?

Far more important than the physical, emotional, and financial benefits of committed marriage is the spiritual impact to you, your family, and the kingdom of God. Donna and I have experienced this impact on our lives already and it has created a joy that is deeper than we ever imagined. Here is what that looks like:

Joy in marriage looks like driving away from our wedding reception, feeling so fully loved and supported by our dearest family and friends.

Joy in marriage looks like staying up late playing cards or sharing stories about our day while lying in bed.

Joy in marriage looks like gripping my wife's hand as the contractions get closer and our daughter's first cries ring loud in the birth room.

Joy in marriage looks like laughing hysterically together when your kids say or do something completely ridiculous.

Joy in marriage looks like finding out your little girl has been diagnosed on the autism spectrum and crying together as we face and overcome our inadequacy and weaknesses.

Joy in marriage looks like rubbing an ice cold snowball in your wife's face and running away like a little girl as she comes after you.

Joy in marriage looks like seeing each other grow in faith as God answers desperate prayers and sustains you through impossible trials.

Joy in marriage looks like loving each other until the very end, sitting by your spouse's hospital bed as they slip away after a lifetime of friendship.

There are too many joys to count, and they are all worth the waiting, the risks, the costs, and the dying.

Consider the running analogy again: God has set the racing path before us, and has called us to begin. He knows best how to run it because he designed it, and furthermore, in Christ, he ran the race himself to show us how the path of Christlike sacrificial love is the only way to honor God with our sexuality.  God is the author and perfecter of our faith, of our lives , and of our sexuality.

So, don't quit running. Keep your eyes on the joy set before you. He is faithful and he will give you the strength if you look to him for grace every day. There is a resurrection and a new life on the other side of that cross.

The Voice of the Lord

Psalm 29:1-11

Ascribe to the Lord , O heavenly beings,
ascribe to the Lord glory and strength.
Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name;
worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness.

The psalmist charges the heavenly host of angels to give glory to God. This is a foretaste of how God's people will one day have some measure of authority over the angels (1 Cor. 6:3). The rest of the psalm can be seen as David's reasons for the angels (and us) to give God glory.

The voice of the Lord is over the waters;
the God of glory thunders, the Lord , over many waters.
The voice of the Lord is powerful;
the voice of the Lord is full of majesty. 

This may be a reference both to God's personal meticulous hand in creating the world (Gen. 1:2), and God's deliverance of Israel through the Red Sea (Exodus 14).

The voice of the Lord breaks the cedars;
the Lord breaks the cedars of Lebanon.
He makes Lebanon to skip like a calf,
and Sirion like a young wild ox. 

We know from Psalm 19 that all of creation, from the skies above to the seas below, cry out in figurative speech, declaring the presence and power of God. And Paul tells us that because of this revelation in nature, each man is without excuse and will be held accountable for their lack of faith in their Maker (Romans 1:18ff). 

The voice of the Lord flashes forth flames of fire.
The voice of the Lord shakes the wilderness;
the Lord shakes the wilderness of Kadesh. 

Even the more dangerous forces of nature speak to us of God's presence and coming judgement. All creation groans under the curse of sin, but this is also the voice of God reminding us of our need to be redeemed (Rom. 8:18-25). I am also reminded of how C.S. Lewis explained the pain and suffering we face as a message from God:

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." (The Problem of Pain)

The voice of the Lord makes the deer give birth
and strips the forests bare,
and in his temple all cry, "Glory!" 

Here is the connection to verses 1 & 2 and the exhortation to give glory to God. These voices in nature, even the small details like the birth of a deer, are all driving us to stand in wonder and cry out "Glory!" I hope I can open my ears to these voices and be inspired daily to stand in awe of God. In this way, I revere him as king and can look to him for my strength and peace:

The Lord sits enthroned over the flood;
the Lord sits enthroned as king forever.
May the Lord give strength to his people!
May the Lord bless his people with peace!

Towers, Wars, and Discipleship

Luke 14:25-33

Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them, "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.  Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.  For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?  Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him,  saying, 'This man began to build and was not able to finish.'  Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand?  And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace.  So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.

...............

We are always glad to see a teaching that ends with a "therefore" because then we will know the main point, right? In this case, the main point is anyone who does not renounce all he has cannot be my disciple. Clear? Yes. Easy to understand? Hmm...

It sounds like Jesus is demanding that his followers abandon material things and all connection to this world. Even our most dearly held relationships - parents, spouses, children, and siblings - we are called to "hate." What can this possibly mean?

Well, we know from several other passages that we are to love our families (1 Tim. 5:8), our neighbors (Matt. 22:34-40) and even our enemies (Matt. 5:43-48), and that asceticism has no intrinsic value, since we could never renounce enough things to gain merit with a holy God or to make us more holy (Col. 2:16-23). And, while one of Luke's main themes is God's interest in the poor, he has repeatedly condemned religiosity that is external, petty, and self-righteous. Whatever this passage is saying, it cannot be an endorsement of thoughtless sacrifice of the needs of our families or a strict command to follow a monastic lifestyle.

But this passage is about following Christ as a disciple who puts Him over and above anything else. The use of the tower and battle metaphors should tell us a few clear things about the nature of this call to discipleship:

1. This is big, so you better think about it first. Don't approach Christianity as just one option in a buffet of religious choices. This is a decision that will change the course of your life and may require the ultimate sacrifice. Think first and consider how big this is.

2. This will be costly, so prepare yourself.  There is a death that takes place when we put off our old selves and become identified with our suffering savior. In very tangible terms, Jesus told his followers that if the world hated him, they should expect to be hated too - and worse. The call to follow Christ will take dogged perseverance and faithfulness in the midst of weariness, pain, doubt, and fear. Our faith will be tried.

3. This will be worth it, so look to the finish line.  I am tempted to think that counting the cost is just a call to feel inadequate and be afraid of what horrors lie ahead in the Christian life - like God is saying "Man-up, its time to die!" But, no good or glory comes from this fear. What this passage reminds us is that we don't build unless there's a tower in mind. We don't fight the war unless there's a kingdom to defend. And we should face the cross of christian life, not as those without hope, but as those who believe in the empty tomb, the resurrection to eternal life, and the new heavens and new earth, where every tear and all sorrow will be no more.

So prepare yourself, by looking to the joy set before you in Christ.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. (Hebrews 12:1-3)

Judging Books by Their Covers

Luke 13:30

And behold, some are last who will be first, and some are first who will be last.

...............

We humans like to judge.

We judge people based on their skin color, their clothes, the kind of car they drive (or lack thereof), and any number of superficial factors that may or may not be someone's own choice.

Luke 13 contains several examples of misguided human judgment, and concludes with a glimpse into the far more accurate judgment of God.

1. We judge those who have experienced unexpected calamity. Verses 1-5 reveal that people assumed that those who suffered under the Roman government or some unfortunate death were somehow to blame by their own sin. This is not unlike some modern Christian groups who protest funerals, condemn those who suffer, or try to interpret natural disasters as specific judgments from God for various sinful lifestyles. Jesus immediately countered this false judgment with a reminder that ALL of us stand condemned apart from repentance and faith in God's saving power.

2. We judge those in the church who don't appear very fruitful. Verses 6-9 are about a fig tree, but really it's about not being hasty in our judgment of brothers and sisters who struggle in their faith or their lifestyle habits. Jesus reminds us that his judgment will come eventually, but in the meantime, let's give that person another chance to bear fruit.

3. We judge those with special needs. Verses 10-17 show that physical ailment was seen as a sign of God's disfavor. Jesus counters that this woman was really a victim of Satan's power to cripple - perhaps another way of saying that we are all cursed since Adam and equally susceptible to any number of painful circumstances. John 9 delves into this further, as Jesus countered the assumption that a man born blind must be suffering due to his sin, or his parents' sin. The truth was that the immediate cause of suffering or misfortune is less important than God's ultimate purpose of showing his glory in our weakness:

Jesus answered, "It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him." (John 9:3)

The chapter ends with a glimpse into God's perfect judgment, which is not based on superficial things, but on the heart. Jesus tells us that many will choose the wide path, thinking they are saved and right with God. Many who are first will be last. When all is finally revealed, many of us may be very surprised.

Notice also the glimpse into Jesus' compassion as he laments over Jerusalem (13:31-35). God's judgment over the city was based on their rebellious hearts, rather than any superficial reason. And his judgment was full of grieving compassion, not petty hatred. Compassion and righteous judgment hang together, much like mercy and justice in the heart of God.

So, judgment is tricky, and often abused. But, I should note that just because it is often misguided, that does not imply we should never judge anyone. If we are slow to judgment, praying to understand each man's heart, and full of compassion, we may grow to judge our neighbor more accurately - exposing and confronting evil for the good of our neighbors and to the glory of a holy and just God.

I pray that I can receive the judgment advice from God that Samuel received long ago:

But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7)

How Do We Respond to Injustice?

Psalms 28:3-6

Do not drag me off with the wicked,
with the workers of evil,
who speak peace with their neighbors
while evil is in their hearts.
Give to them according to their work
and according to the evil of their deeds;
give to them according to the work of their hands;
render them their due reward.
Because they do not regard the works of the Lord
or the work of his hands,
he will tear them down and build them up no more.

Blessed be the Lord !
For he has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy.

...............

On Friday, December 14, 2012, at 9:30am, a 20-year-old man ended the lives of 20 schoolchildren and 6 adults at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, CT. The public response was immediate and emotionally charged. Parents wept for their lost children, while others across the country held their children a little longer before bedtime, imagining how painful it would be to lose those we hold most dear. The innate sense of justice we all feel was stirred to the point of brimming over. We were reminded that evil is still real, and we could not suppress the instinctual craving for justice in the aftermath of wicked deeds like these.

In Psalm 28, we get an interesting balance in the mind of the believer: the twofold truth that we are both desperately in need of God's forgiveness, and desperately ready for God to punish others who act wickedly. We want the final judgment to come, and for all things to be made right. But we know we belong in the lake of fire ourselves, so we cry out for mercy, utterly dependent on God's grace to spare us from our just penalty.

Really, humility and justice must hang together in the Christian's life, for one cannot exist without the other - at least, not in any authentic way. For example, our thirst for punishment against mass murderers would surely disappear if we lost our ability to humbly identify with the fragile dependency of our dear children. Our sympathy toward these little ones corresponds to our fierce opposition to any force that would spoil their delicate lives. Here's how Jesus embodied this balance:

"Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea." (Mark 9:42)

Likewise, a lack of justice will always coincide with a lack of humility, and vice versa. For example, if I did not care deeply for the weak and vulnerable child, I would not have the deadly serious mind of Christ toward any threat to their safety. In fact, it is safe to say that God's justice is an extension of his humility. No one feels the wickedness and gravity of sin more than Him who has known the fullest depths of humility. This humility is what has led to God's wrath being satisfied on our behalf - at the cross, there is simultaneously justice for sin, and justification for the sinner. As Paul said:

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus." (Romans 3:23, 24, 26)

Our humility must also be defined by a deference to the supremacy of God in all things. The psalmist here considers the wicked man's greatest crime to be that he disregarded the works of the Lord (28:5). To have a vision and passion for God's glory is to be both truly humble and also highly sensitive to how sin perverts and distorts God's glorious love and holiness.

This is the gospel-balance that helps us respond to the Newtown massacre in the way that God does - with deadly seriousness and the just fires of hell, motivated by a humble love and longing for the protection of innocence and the glory of God. I pray I can walk in the light of the cross of Christ, which speaks mercy to me while simultaneously paying for my crimes against God and man. I pray I can walk like Micah:

"He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?"
(Micah 6:8)

Motivated by God's Sovereign Care

Luke 12:4-7, 32-34

"I tell you, my friends, do not fear those who kill the body, and after that have nothing more that they can do. But I will warn you whom to fear: fear him who, after he has killed, has authority to cast into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him! Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows....

"Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

.................

God is sovereign.

The Bible attests to this in many places, both explicitly or implicitly. He is sovereign over the grand design of human history, over the forces of nature, over the free moral agency of mankind, and even over the schemes of our Enemy. His sovereignty is both general and particular, impacting the vast span of the universe and the meticulous details of birds, hairs, food, and clothing, as described in this chapter of Luke.

There are at least two responses to the biblical claim that God is sovereign - Fear or Trust.

This passage connects God's sovereignty and our response in a couple of ways. The first is in the passage about persecution (v. 1-12). Jesus claims that God is sovereign in eventually judging the earth - bringing all secret things to light and determining the eternal fate of every soul based on whose kingdom they belong to. We are commanded to respond to this truth in reverent fear of our Judge. But the passage quickly turns to a reminder of God's care over the particulars of sparrows' breath and numbers of hairs. As the passage continues, we see that our response to this particular care will drive our response to persecution. If we ignore or forget God's sovereign care, we will fear others and ultimately be judged as lacking faith. But if we meditate of this sovereign care and respond with obedient trust, we will face our enemies without fear, knowing that our sovereign God will provide the words to say and ultimately guard our souls, even if our bodies perish.

Jesus teaches a parallel message linking our response to God's sovereignty and material possessions in verses 13-48. Again we are reminded of God's meticulous care over animal and plant life, so that we also will live without anxiety and respond in trust. Luke differs from Matthew in placing this passage between two additional admonitions against covetousness. The parable starting in verse 16 is meant to illustrate this truism from verse 15:

And he said to them, "Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." (Luke 12:15)

By putting the "anxiety" passage in this context, Luke is furthering his Gospel's emphasis on generosity, and he is connecting our response to God's sovereignty with our response to material possessions. The degree to which we trust God to care deeply for our basic needs is also the degree to which we will be "rich" toward him and treasure Him above anything this world can offer (v. 21).

Lord, help me to dwell deeply on your meticulous care for me, and let that drive me to trust and obey with my life and my possessions. Help me to fear you more than any man, but to find great assurance that your care will motivate me to speak your name without shame and give of my possessions generously - for this is the kind of life that testifies to your glory, sovereignty, and personal care. Amen.

(re)Learning Who God Is

Luke 11:11-13

What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent;  or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?  If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

...............

This chapter begins and ends with passages that challenge us to relearn the nature of God.

The first passage, on the surface, is just about prayer. But it is also about the nature of the One to whom we pray. And that nature is summed up in the word "father."

We are so removed from this first century Jewish context, but this characterization of God is just as radical today as it was then. Why else would Jesus have to appeal to these contrasting examples of bad friends and bad fathers who know how to give good earthly gifts? He is having to help us unlearn and then relearn who God is - really learning for the very first time that God is an abundantly generous and attentive father who listens and cares for his children. The contrast is both quantitative ("how much more") and qualitative (fish/egg vs. Holy Spirit). God is not just a father, but the preeminent father par excellence.

The chapters closes with another passage that challenges prevailing notions of who God is:

While Jesus was speaking, a Pharisee asked him to dine with him, so he went in and reclined at table. The Pharisee was astonished to see that he did not first wash before dinner. (Luke 11:37-38)

At this dinner table, we are confronted with a vision of God that threatens our religious habits and preconceived notions of what is right and proper in the eyes of God. Ceremonial hand washing appears to have been so basic to Jewish decorum that neglecting to do so was astonishing. Again, what is really going on here is a revelation of God's character in contrast to the notions of the time, even among the religious leaders, who should have known better.

Why does this misconception of God really matter? It seems like a small matter to mistake some aspect of God's character, like his fatherhood or his distaste for extra-biblical rituals. But, in fact, these blind spots in our vision of God are paramount and have severe repercussions, which is why Jesus reacts so strongly to the Pharisees. In their case, he uses the hand washing topic as a springboard to describe how their false metaphysical position has resulted in a litany of injustices and sins, often committed in the name of the God they had so grossly misunderstood.

We must strive to see God for who He really is, and thus avoid the woes of the Pharisees ourselves. Do I really grasp the Fatherhood of God, his generosity and grace, or his version of justice? Have I searched and submitted to God's Word in order to have a more balanced and accurate view of God's character? Because of the fall and the lingering affects of our sinful nature, this will not come naturally. In fact, it takes an act of God's Spirit to open our blind eyes to the truth of God's love and justice displayed in Christ.

I pray for the humility and faith I need to unlearn and relearn who He truly is. Fortunately, if we ask, seek, and knock on this door, we have assurance that this request will be met by a gracious Father who wants us to know Him and receive the good gift of Himself.

And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.  (Luke 11:9-10)