My Story

This is my story. My story is about how Jesus rescued me and how my heart and later my mind came to really believe that.

In November 1998, I was 16 years old and I was spiraling toward ruin. I remember my time in middle school and high school vividly. I remember being lonely. I remember craving relationship and not knowing how to fill that vacuum. I remember the crushes. I remember nights lying in bed crying and not even knowing why I was alive.

I was a good student. I was a class clown. I had friends. I was successful on the outside, but there was darkness within.

But one night, a friend invited me to church and everything changed.

I saw people singing about Jesus and I felt something powerful happen. I heard that Jesus died for me. I experienced the presence of God, an awareness that something supernatural did exist and could be present in my life. And my friend's mom prayed with me right there to accept Jesus as my Savior.

I remember driving home just filled with energy! I had met God and I knew things were different now. I was not alone.

And life was different. I made Christian friends. The church's youth pastor stuck a bass guitar in my hand and gave me a stack of songs to learn. I learned through new friends and through new music and through hearing God's Word. I was starting to grow.

But then I went to college at Florida State. I started taking classes from professors who criticised Christian faith and treated it as a mere myth among other myths. I began to wonder how I could claim Jesus was the only way. I saw that other religions have community and compassion and music and mystical experiences. Why did I think my experience of God was more true than theirs? My heart had felt God, but my mind was not convinced.

One night, my dorm roommate, who was not a Christian, directly confronted me with these questions. And I didn't have answers. I went to bed not knowing if I'd wake up still believing.

By God's grace, I did not give up. I looked for answers in the Bible. I continued talking with my Christian friends and older members of my church. I read. I studied. I pressed on.

I came to Louisville to attend seminary, still hungry for answers. I learned about the historical validity of the New testament and the verifiable facts supporting Jesus' resurrection. I met several mentors who introduced me not just to apologetic arguments for God's existence, but to the full spectrum of the Christian worldview. I learned why the biblical view of the world is in fact the most intellectually consistent view on every major topic: on the nature of reality, on man's identity and purpose, on how we know what we know, what is the basis for good and evil, why do we perceive beauty and crave a sense of wonder, how can we thrive in our families, our work life, and our community. I started getting answers. My head was catching up to my heart.

Today, I am a product of my past, a finite person who is still hungry for answers and hungry for relationship. I am still a sinner and I still break promises and I still fight the darkness within. But I am also a redeemed sinner. I stand on the fact of Jesus' resurrection. I stand on the fact that my faith and my feelings are now rooted not in myself or anything I can do, but rooted in what He had done for me. These words are my hope and I know nothing can undo it or take it away:

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

Prayer of the Consumer

Psalm 39:4-7

Lord, reveal to me the end of my life
and the number of my days.
Let me know how short-lived I am.
You, indeed, have made my days
short in length,
and my life span as nothing in Your sight. 

Yes, every mortal man is only a vapor.

Selah

Certainly, man walks about
like a mere shadow.
Indeed, they frantically rush around in vain,
gathering possessions without knowing who will get them.
Now, Lord, what do I wait for?
My hope is in You.

...............

Materialism. 

According to this passage, the root cause of materialism is that we think we are eternal.

We typically do not number our days. We think we are permanent, destined to live on and on, never having to say goodbye to the things and accomplishments we have accumulated. We make plans and dream dreams, assuming that tomorrow is guaranteed to us. We create hopes for doing, buying, building, traveling, saving, spending, and on and on.

We are practical materialists, even against our knowing better. If you asked a stranger to examine our lives from the outside, what would they see? Do we show by our choices and our budget line items that we believe only in the visible material world? That we have bought into the promises that this world so readily makes to us? That the next house or car or vacation or job opportunity will finally fulfill us? That we are one purchase away from knowing true peace?

Before I create any unnecessary guilt trips, it is important to note that the Bible does not endorse poverty over riches per se. In several places, Paul exhorts the rich to beware being proud and to be sure to be generous, but he never condemns the riches themselves. In the most quotable of these places, notice that money is not the root of evil, but rather the love of money:

But those who want to be rich fall into temptation, a trap, and many foolish and harmful desires, which plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root  of all kinds of evil, and by craving it, some have wandered away from the faith  and pierced themselves with many pains. (1 Tim 6:9-10)

It is the want of riches and the love of money that leads our impressionable hearts into many other vices. We crave what we don't have and that craving ends up justifying our discontent, anger, and resentment of others who happen to have it better than us. Notice also that this heart condition could apply to the rich and poor alike. You could have very little and still be enslaved by the empty promises of riches, thinking if only I had this or that, then I could finally be happy.

Paul continues in the same passage to give a positive alternative to this craving:

Instruct those who are rich in the present age not to be arrogant or to set their hope on the uncertainty of wealth, but on God,  who richly provides us with all things to enjoy. Instruct them to do what is good, to be rich in good works, to be generous, willing to share, storing up for themselves a good reserve for the age to come, so that they may take hold of life that is real. (1 Tim 6:17-19)

In this positive way forward, riches do not have to be a pathway to evil. They can, in fact, lead to enormous opportunities for good and glory for God. Riches can become, like in the parable of the talents, a test of our faithfulness to God and an investment that pays off for the good of others and ends in a warm welcome in heaven, where our true treasure-house grows with every act of faithfulness.

Taken together with Psalm 39, Paul's words and all of Scripture present us with a challenge, whether we are rich or poor. The challenge is to:

- examine our hearts

- number our days 

- realize the impermanence of this material world

- make God himself our greatest hope and treasure

- realize our responsibility before God who owns all things

- and start using our resources to invest in real treasure - the growing kingdom of God and its many faceted blessings. 

I am reminded of another of Paul's challenges which sums all of this up rather nicely:

Therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, I urge you  to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your spiritual worship.  Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. (Romans 12:1-2)

Mercy Without Rest

Luke 6:9, 35, 36, 42, 45

And Jesus said to them, "I ask you, is it lawful on the Sabbath to do good or to do harm, to save life or to destroy it?..."

But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful....

How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,' when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother's eye....

The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.

...............

There is so much going on in this chapter that it is difficult to pick any one section to focus on. So, let's see how each of these fit together in an overall theme.

Much of this passage consists of Luke's version of the Sermon on the Mount. Luke and Matthew may have shared a common source (the hypothetical Q source), Luke may have borrowed from Matthew directly (since the prologue admits he was familiar with other accounts), or more likely, these pithy sayings were frequent topics in Jesus' teaching, repeated on several occasions and recalled in various oral and written traditions.

In Luke's context, these teachings follow two encounters with the religious leaders in which Jesus is questioned about his apparent disregard for the Sabbath. Few traditions were cherished by the Jews more than their observance of rest on the seventh day - an ordinance commanded by Moses and rooted in God's rest after the six-day creation account recorded in Genesis. But, over time, there were many man-made traditions that evolved around Sabbath observance - extra requirements that turned this day of celebration into a religious straight-jacket. The idea that picking heads of grain or healing a man with a withered hand should be forbidden of the Sabbath speaks to the petty and trivial nature of these man-made traditions. They were missing the point entirely!

In this context, the subsequent sermon appears to address these hypocrites with some of the most penetrating words of Jesus' entire ministry. The call to humility, the acceptance of persecution, our willingness to bless enemies, warnings against hypocritical judgmentalism, a focus on heart motivations, and an emphasis on founding one's life on God's word - all of this directly contradicts the petty, trivial, externalized, and ultimately fraudulent version of spirituality being offered by the scribes and Pharisees. God demands a changed life, one that is fundamentally reoriented toward His purposes from the inside out. This demand is impossible to realize in our own strength, which is part of why men prefer to use their man-made traditions like a self righteous mask.

Note how verse 36 roots this call to mercy in the character of God himself:

Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. (Luke 6:36)

By missing the central command to show mercy, these teachers had missed the very nature of the God they claimed to follow. Failure to live out of a heart of mercy is practical heresy and gives the completely wrong impression of the God we serve. It's no wonder that Paul would further claim that this hypocrisy was actually driving Gentiles away from faith, rather than toward faith (Romans 2:23-24).

I pray that I will know this God of mercy, that I will understand his heart and let my life be shaped by His Spirit. I pray that I will lead a life of unexpected love and thus convey that there is a infinite personal God with the heart of a father, and whose character is mercy. Help me, even on a Sabbath, to never rest from showing mercy. Amen.

Worse than Diarrhea

Mark 7:18-22

"Do you not see that whatever goes into a person from outside cannot defile him, since it enters not his heart but his stomach, and is expelled?" (Thus he declared all foods clean.)  And he said, "What comes out of a person is what defiles him.  For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness.  All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person."

...............

Apparently, the only appropriate way to rebuke religious hypocrisy is to resort to potty language.  At least, this is the case in Mark 7 as Jesus responds to the Pharisees' insistence upon ceremonial hand washings.  When confronted with strict rules for external rituals, Jesus counters with his own well-aimed rebuke: You Pharisees bend and break the commandments of God for the sake of your man-made traditions.  Don't you know that what comes out of your sinful heart and mind is far worse than mere food which is eaten and expelled?

Much could be said about how religious people today are continuing this Pharasaic legacy of restricted pietism (making a short list of extrabiblical rules that will supposedly gain the special favor of God).  There are preachers and congregations who rail against cultural trends and lifestyles, and yet conveniently overlook their own gluttony, laziness, or private marital problems.  There are average folks who thumb their noses at certain classes of people, or discount certain forms of art because of its rating or reputation.  And there are even non-religious pietists as well, who rail against what they see as religious "bigotry" or traditional definitions of family and society.

So, how do we know if our convictions are more like the Pharisees or like Jesus himself?  The answer from the immediate context is that we should hold tightly to the clear commands of Scripture and be willing to quickly let go of our extrabiblical religious habits when they contradict with Scripture (9:9-13).  This is especially the case when our extra rituals are culturally irrelevant or even detrimental to ourselves and others (cf. Romans 14 & 1 Cor. 9).  Another answer from the broader context of the Gospels is to first point the finger at yourself, long before you consider pointing out someone else's weakness or sin (Matt. 7:1-5; note: this passage is often misused to argue that ALL judging is forbidden by God, when in reality it merely forbids "judgmentalism" as an attitude of thoughtless self-righteousness).

An example in my own life may prove to be an appropriate conclusion.

One night, many months ago, I had the opportunity to sit down with my mother-in-law and share this very passage (Mark 7) with her, in an attempt to explain some of my beliefs.  I have witnessed in her life the paralyzing effects of restricted pietism. Her disciplined habits of prayer, Bible-reading, and healthy diet are truly remarkable, but in and of themselves, they are hollow forms which provide little substance (see Col. 2:16ff). As I sat with her for over two hours, while Donna and Gracie slept, I sought desperately to show her, as humbly as I possibly could, that her ascetic lifestyle was in fact enslaving her and emaciating her - a result that runs completely counter to the glory and goodness of God, in whose image every person has been created.  However, she looked directly at verses like Mark 7:19 (thus he declared all foods clean) and quite simply refused to accept it.  She said, No.

I pray that someday she sees how trivial and petty her vision of God appears to be.  The One who paints the sunsets each day and formed every human heart to beat and to long for meaning, it is He who created her to be free from the bonds of pietism which keep her depending upon rituals rather than a dynamic relationship with the Living God.  Lord, have mercy on each of us as we continue to fight this fight for freedom, through the One who covers us completely in His righteousness.  Amen.

A Tall Glass of Perfection - Part 2

Matthew 6:33

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you.

...............

We've seen that hypocrisy is at the center of Jesus' critique of the Pharisees and the common spirituality of his day. What is this hypocrisy and how do we avoid it? A quick definition from Webster's may be helpful:

Hypocrisy
"1: a feigning to be what one is not or to believe what one does not ; especially : the false assumption of an appearance of virtue or religion."

The word comes from the Greek for "play-acting," a technical term from the world of the theater. Jesus was accusing the religious leaders of being insincere in their beliefs and practices. They were wearing a mask of sorts, a crime that is condemned again and again in the New Testament. For example, Paul argues that "no one is a Jew who is merely one outwardly," but rather "a Jew is one inwardly, and circumcision is a matter of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter" (Rom. 2:28-29). The author of Hebrews quotes from the prophet Jeremiah concerning the new covenant that will be written on our hearts (Heb. 8:8-12; Jer. 31:31-34). There is yet another reference to God giving us a new heart in the prophet Ezekiel (Ezek. 11:19-21). In both prophets there is a concluding vision of what this new heart is really all about: "And they shall be my people, and I will be their God" (Jer. 31:33 & Ezek. 11:20).

Matthew 6:33 gives us a similar conclusion when Jesus is wrapping up his critique of superficial spirituality, i.e. being consumed with the worries of the present moment.

Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness.

You may check off everything on your spiritual "to-do" list, but if you leave this out, everything is in vain. The problem is that the glass of perfection is still too tall. The Bible won't settle for external conformity to some religious "to-do" list. The Word of God demands genuine love, for our Creator, for his kingdom, and for his creatures. The fact that the prophets described this love as coming from a "new heart" (not to mention the teaching that Jesus gives about the necessity of a "new birth" in John 3) reminds us that we are utterly incapable of producing the righteousness that God requires. Hence, the command to seek "His righteouness;" that is, the righteousness that comes through faith in Christ and banks everything on the substitutionary atonement that he accomplished on the cross. It is what theologians call an "alien righteousness," something outside of ourselves that has been imputed to us. (Check out Romans 4 and 5 for a refresher on "faith counted as righteousness.")

So, if we are utterly incapable of giving ourselves this "new heart," what can I do to follow Jesus' teaching? How can I avoid the hypocrisy he condemned and instead "Seek first His kingdom?" Maybe we'll get to some practical encouragement on this matter tomorrow!

To be continued...

A Tall Glass of Perfection - Part 1

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Matthew 5:48

You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

...............

What can be said about Matthew 5 and the Sermon on the Mount that hasn't already been said? Men and women have spent lifetimes studying this passage, attempting to tease out the meaning of "the Law" and whether Jesus really meant for us to obey these commands, or whether the apparent impossibility of the commands was meant to be instructive concerning our depravity and utter need for a Savior. My short answer is: both.

This is yet another great opportunity for a lesson in interpretation. There are many key verses in this passage. I was inclined to think that 5:17 was really the window to understanding the whole chapter. But, I also think that 5:48 is a good candidate. Two reasons: It comes at the conclusion of this section (Jesus often summarized parables and teachings with memorable one-liners at the very end), and the verse contains a "therefore," adding more weight to the idea that Jesus is summing up all that he has just said. And the conclusion is, you must be perfect as your Father is perfect. No big deal, right?

Well, this verse is quite discouraging at first. It parallels verse 20, where Jesus said that our righteousness must exceed that of the scribes and Pharisees. In what sense is our righteousness supposed to exceed theirs? I think from the examples that Jesus subsequently gives, it is clear that the kind of righteousness he is commanding is a lifestyle of obedience without hypocrisy.

You could say, with some weight, that the entire sermon is merely a scathing critique of religious hypocrisy. Your loving actions mean nothing if there is anger in your heart, or if you only love those who love you. Your chastity is nothing if there is lust in your heart. Your "certificate" of divorce means nothing, period! Your just retribution is nothing, since God also wants to display mercy on the righteous and unrighteous. Furthermore, Jesus exposes in the hypocritical motives behind the religious leaders' alms, their prayers, and their fasting in chapter 6.

So, what is this tall order of "perfection?" It is probably referring to obedience to the whole counsel of God, the whole Law, and more importantly, obedience in such a way that is completely heart-felt and motivated by love for God and all people. And you thought the Ten Commandments were a tall order on their own!

To be continued...