Talk to Yourself

Psalms 42:9‭-‬11

I say to God, my rock:
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning
because of the oppression of the enemy?"
As with a deadly wound in my bones,
my adversaries taunt me,
while they say to me all the day long,
"Where is your God?"
Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God.

............

Psalms 42 and 43 together form one song with a repeating refrain. This is one of the few Hebrew poems with a chorus, making it suddenly familiar and similar to our modern pop songs and worship ballads. What makes it a little different than most Christian worship songs is that the psalmist is talking to himself. Rather than addressing God directly or even addressing fellow believers, he is talking to himself. And since he repeats it three times, it's worth focusing on this verse as the key phrase in the passage:

Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God.

Notice there is a question and an answer. This reflects the turmoil the psalmist is experiencing within himself. The surrounding verses include reference to feeling desperate for God's help, thirsty for God, aching for relief. Verse 8 describes a man so oppressed by enemies that he goes around mourning, wondering why God has abandoned him. But the chorus turns the question from God to himself. It is a turning point, a step away from despair and toward resolution. And the resolution is an effort of faith:

Hope in God for I shall again praise him.

I call this an effort of faith because believing in the midst of trials can be a real effort. Some circumstances can be so loud that they drown out other voices. His enemies are asking "where is your God?" And he is tempted to ask himself that as well. But, notice that the psalmist instead chooses to remember times past when he felt closer to God and enjoyed his blessing (verse 4). This is part of the effort to fight despair and believe in God's goodness. When we recall better days, we can hope for future blessings with more confidence.

For another example of this practice of talking to yourself, consider Lamentations, where Jeremiah was facing terrible trials of his own:

But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
(Lam. 3:21‭-‬23)

So, talk to yourself. Instead of just listening to your surroundings or your own doubts, fire back with the objective truth of the gospel. Once you've voiced your fears to God, go a step further and choose to remember the truth of God's goodness and preach it to yourself. This is more than the power of positive thinking. This is exercising real choice in what you think about and applying the truth to your own heart when you need it most. Call him your Rock, your salvation, your God. Sing along with the saints the words that your heart desperately needs to hear.

Here's another example from the hymnal to keep you talking to yourself:

Arise, my soul, arise,
shake off your guilty fears:
the bleeding Sacrifice
in my behalf appears:
before the throne my Surety stands,
before the throne my Surety stands,
my name is written on his hands.

My God is reconciled;
his pard'ning voice I hear;
he owns me for his child,
I can no longer fear;
with confidence I now draw nigh,
with confidence I now draw nigh,
and "Father, Abba, Father!" cry.

(Charles Wesley 1742)

My Hiding Place

Psalm 32:7

You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah

...............

Sometimes I hear people talking about their "life verse" - a passage of scripture that has been the theme of their life, or perhaps gives them a perpetual sense of motivation and purpose. I have heard people use the Golden Rule of Matthew 7, or the Great Commission of Matthew 28, or perhaps some quote from Paul that talks about God's calling in their lives. Jesus himself often summarized his life and ministry in one verse sayings, like "I have come to seek and save the lost" or "the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but I have come that you may have abundant life."

This verse from Psalm 32 has been about the closest in my experience to a "life verse." It has followed me through several seasons of life and never fails to comfort and recenter my view of life and understanding of God's love.

The first season where this verse met me was in college. I was studying Hebrew in a mostly nonreligious Religion department (yes, I said that right). I translated this passage from the Hebrew and was drawn into the beauty of this psalm by the hidden rhyme found in this verse, which does not carry over in the English translation:

Atah seter li
Mitzar titz-raini
Ra-ney fallet tisovivani

I enjoyed this verse so much that I painted the Hebrew words on the wall of my small apartment bedroom. I wanted to be reminded that God's love and protection were always around me, that God himself was my hiding place.

The second season where this verse appeared in my life was in seminary. The last phrase of the verse includes the word "shouts" but this can also be translated "songs." I had always loved music, grew up playing my dad's guitars, and from early in my christian life helped to lead others in youth groups to worship in song. The idea that God the creator was singing over me and that this was part of his deliverance was very comforting.

This comfort took on new meaning in seminary when I met a lovely young lady who shared my love for music, worship, ministry, and all things beautiful. Her name was Donna, and when we started dating, it was just before Christmas, which put me in the fun position of finding a present for her that was special but not TOO special. I decided to make a framed picture montage with snapshots of our brief time together. In the center was one simple verse of scripture, written in Hebrew - Psalm 32:7.

This verse would continue to comfort and remind me and Donna in the coming years of God's song of deliverance, through times of both joy and sorrow. The frame still hangs in our living room to this day.

Today, I was driving to work, feeling particularly tired and discouraged. I have every reason to rejoice: a family that loves me unconditionally, a job I enjoy with an upcoming promotion, a Savior who forgives and provides. But my fears and self-hatred often overwhelm these obvious realities. So, like I've done hundreds of times, I put Andrew Peterson on the stereo and proceeded to sing my heart out, crying tears of joy and gratitude as I preached the words of God's grace to myself yet again. 

These are words that I will never fail to need reminding of. They are God's song of deliverance to me, and I hope to continue singing these words and others like them for many seasons to come:

High noon in the valley of the shadow
When the deep of the valley was bright
When the mouth of the tomb
Shouted, "Glory, the Groom is alive" 

So long, you wages of sin
Go on, don't you come back again
I've been raised and redeemed 

You've lost all your sting
To the victor of the battle
At high noon in the valley
In the valley of the shadow

SPECIAL REPORT - God is not Trite

Romans 12:1-2

I appeal to you therefore, brothers,
by the mercies of God,
to present your bodies as a living sacrifice,
holy and acceptable to God,
which is your spiritual worship.
Do not be conformed to this world,
but be transformed by the renewal of your mind,
that by testing you may discern what is the will of God,
what is good and acceptable and perfect.

...............

This has been on my mind all morning. I cannot help but write about it.

God is not trite.

He is not petty. He is not narcissistic, schizophrenic, unreasonable, or unstable. Why am I saying all of this? What is happening that makes God appear to be petty?

The Church.

The Church is what is making God appear so small, so irrelevant, and so detached from reality. It drives me mad just thinking about. Now, before I get into the details, this is not a full-fledged condemnation of God's church. The Church is God's holy bride that will be washed in his blood and taken into the new heavens and new earth to live with him forever. I love the church. That's why it's imperative that we call her out of darkness. And, the particular kind of misrepresentation that is driving me mad this morning is this: WORSHIP.

Consider, how many times does the New Testament make reference to singing? How many times in the book of Acts, for instance, do we see the early church singing? In Acts 4:42 we have a brief summary of the life of the church. "And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers." Does anybody see singing in there?

The point is, worship is not what many people think it is.

Worship does not equal singing, raising your hands, trembling, feeling awe, getting slain in the Spirit, or any other ecstatic experience. God demands worship, in Spirit and in truth, and he promises eternal hell for those who do not worship him. I'll say that again: He promises hell for those who do not worship.

Whoa, wait a minute! Hell? For not singing? For not attending a weekly "worship" service? Why, God sounds like a petty, immature, narcissistic, maniac!! What a waste, why would I ever worship a God like that?!

And, those are the appropriate questions the church has to face. We've painted God to be petty and then demanded people to worship. Our children grow up thinking this way and they end up turning away by the time they hit college. The problem is, the Church continues to try and solve this problem in the wrong way. Emergent churches try to make "worship" more trendy and in line with the surrounding culture (God is somehow lagging behind culturally?). Mainstream churches make "worship" more formalized and liturgical, hoping to bring people a sense of reverence or nostalgia (God wants to be lagging behind culturally?). And, Evangelical churches just switch the music around, fire the choir, and hire a twenty-something guitar player to lead us in a "worship experience." All of this is under the pseudonym "worship."

Romans 12 gives us another definition of worship: putting every aspect of your life on the alter, and conforming those details to the will of God, rather than to the world. That is worship, in a nutshell. Doing EVERYTHING to the glory of God. But, it's not doing everything with a Jesus-stamp on it. It's not just slipping people a gospel pamphlet with their receipt at the register. Or, whispering prayers while you toss boxes or punch in numbers on the keyboard. No, doing everything to the glory of God is really seeing what you do in a new way. That may require some basic changes in what you do with the majority of your time. Or, it may mean merely changing the WAY you do what you do with the majority of your time. Either way, it is comprehensive, all-encompassing, and powerfully relevant.

God is not trite. He cares so much more about the ins and outs of your daily life than in whether you had a certain kind of experience or sang a certain kind of song on Sunday morning. And, when we start to see the comprehensive nature of the worship that He demands, it begins to make a little more sense why Hell is the alternative. For those who make their lives into a personal kingdom of self-rule and self-worship, Hell is the only logical destination. We condemn ourselves by making God into a petty, distant, immature music-leader. He doesn't just want our songs.

He wants our lives.

(P.S. I do enjoy singing and think the Church has plenty to sing about!)