Do You Love Me?

John 21:15‭-‬17

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Feed my lambs."  He said to him a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Tend my sheep."  He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, "Do you love me?" and he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you." Jesus said to him, "Feed my sheep."

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We live in a unique time in Christian history when it comes to Bible translations. At the turn of the 21st century, there are about 900 English translations of Scripture, most of these having emerged in the last 200 years of scholarship and manuscript study. You can access dozens of these for free online or using some form of Bible software. And with all this effort to learn the original Hebrew and Greek languages, it can be tempting to think that only a language scholar can know what the Bible really says.

As someone who has spent some time learning Hebrew, I can tell you that there are indeed some powerful insights that can come through doing word studies and trying to grasp what these words meant in their ancient context. But I can also say with confidence that your English translation will give you 99% of the original meaning and that there are abundant footnotes and commentaries that can supplement the few concepts that are lost in translation.

John 21 is a great example of this dynamic. The conclusion to John's gospel has a clear focus, dramatic imagery, and compelling emotion in the characters and dialogue. Jesus makes another post-resurrection appearance, multiplying a catch of fish and welcoming his friends to a lakeside barbeque. Following the responses of Mary Magdalene and Thomas, we now see the emotional response of Peter, perhaps Jesus' closest and most trusted friend.

Peter is clearly excited to see Jesus again. He jumped out of the boat to get to him! But then Jesus asks him a question that we must all come to terms with:

Do you love me?

Peter answers quickly. Of course I love you, I'm thrilled to see you alive again! Jesus charges him to feed his sheep. But then Jesus asks again.

Do you love me?

Peter answers again, maybe a little hesitant this time. Why is he asking again? Yes, I love you. And Jesus charges him again to shepherd his sheep. But then Jesus asks a third time.

Do you love me?

At this point, John diverts from the pattern and tells us that Peter is grieved. Why is Peter grieved?

This is where some would say that knowing the Greek words for "love" provides a deeper understanding of this passage. Jesus uses "agapao" in his first two questions, and this word is often used for sacrificial love. In contrast, Peter replies with "phileo," which often signifies brotherly love. In the third question, Jesus matches Peter and uses "phileo." And that is when Peter is grieved. But why?

Several interpreters have tried to insist that Peter was grieved by Jesus' change in wording, as if Jesus is confronting Peter's lack of sacrifice. That seems to fit the recent context, where Peter had just denied Jesus rather than face punishment for knowing him. Maybe Jesus is just putting him in his place.

But there is another interpretation that better fits the character of Jesus, and it doesn't require knowing Greek. It just requires counting to three. It is more likely that Peter is grieved, not because the word choice, but because of the three times Jesus says it. He is grieved because this mirrors the three times that Peter denied him. All the shame is hiding just under the surface.

But Jesus' goal is not shame. It is restoration. For each question there is a charge. And that charge is for Peter to rise to a privileged place of leadership in the church that Jesus would soon establish. He needed a leader who could feed and nourish a weak fellowship into a strong Spirit-filled movement which would go on to turn the world upsidedown. And Peter was the man for the job.

So the question remains for us today. Are we ready to move past our grief and shame, even if we've betrayed Jesus time and again? Are we ready to receive the power of the Holy Spirit and proclaim the resurrected Jesus? Are we prepared to bear our cross today?

Do you love me?

A King and His Bride

Psalms 45:6-7

Your throne, O God, is forever and ever.
The scepter of your kingdom is a scepter of uprightness;
you have loved righteousness and hated wickedness.
Therefore God, your God, has anointed you
with the oil of gladness beyond your companions

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This chapter stands out in the Psalms for several reasons. The first and most obvious is that this song is not primarily directed to God. We have gotten used to these prayers and petitions addressing God directly, and then we are greeted with this romantic love song about a king and his bride. Why is it here and what does it mean for us?

Surely we can relate to a love song. Our culture today is filled with pop radio hits which linger on the emotional and physical details of lovers. We are built for relationship and every culture and people have given voice to their love through song. The Hebrews were no exception.

This Psalm first addresses Israel's king. The writer gushes with admiration for this mighty leader. What strikes me most is that the king is praised for both his meekness and his military strength, for both loving righteousness and hating wickedness. The takeaway: a good leader and a good government is marked by this twofold character. That every act of strength against an enemy must have a heart of love and righteousness behind it.

The second half of the psalm addresses the king's bride. She is encouraged to leave her family and commit herself completely to him. Her clothing and her companions are described in turn, rich adornments for her beauty. Like the king, the emphasis is on how blessed and how glad she must be. This is a celebration of the bride and their committed relationship.

As we've seen throughout the Psalms, while there is a clear meaning rooted in the writer's own time and place, there is also a secondary reference to our own Messiah and King: Jesus. I can say that with confidence because verses 6-7 are quoted directly by the author of the letter to the Hebrews hundreds of years later (Heb. 1:8-9). The New Testament writer used this Psalm along with several other passages to highlight Jesus' authority, power, and worth above all angels or earthly powers. His kingship is the government par excellence, taking the characteristics that the psalmist praised to the ultimate degree.

Likewise we can project the praises for the bride onto the ultimate bride of Christ, the Church. For what is the image that the book of Revelation uses to picture the final culmination of redemption history? A wedding! A great feast where our bridegroom finally reunites with the lover he purchased with his own blood. May we learn to revel in this cerebration and marvel at his grace and majesty.

Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out,

"Hallelujah!
For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns.
Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
and his Bride has made herself ready;
it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure"—

for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.
And the angel said to me, "Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb." And he said to me, "These are the true words of God."
(Revelation 19:6‭-‬9)

Fruit from God, Fruit for God

John 15:5‭-‬8

I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.  If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned.  If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.  By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.

Genesis 1:28

And God blessed them. And God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth."

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What makes a fruit different than a vegetable? Fruit is what a plant produces. A vegetable is itself a plant or a root. Fruit is vibrant, sweet, living. Vegetables are starchy, dense, filling. It is no mistake that we call a lazy person a "couch potato" or someone who "vegetates," while we associate being "fruitful" with every manner of productivity. One is associated with life. The other associated with death. (You're welcome to all those veggie-haters out there!)

In John 15, Jesus uses yet another earthy metaphor to once again define who he is and who we are called to be, and this time it revolves around fruit.

Jesus tells us that he himself is like a vine, and that we are the branches. In John's typical style, the logic of the passage is not linear, but spirals back and forth, revolving around a central idea. The references to Jesus and to us his followers are intertwined, much like the Vine and branches he describes. With each spiral we get more clarity on what is meant, until finally the meaning is laid bare towards the end.

I am the Vine, you are the branches.

Abide in me, and I in you.

Apart from me you can do nothing.

Abide in my words, and I will abide in you.

My command is love, and you will prove you are mine by this love.

The greatest love is to die for a friend.

You are no longer servants.

I have called you friends.

It takes some mental energy to tie all these thoughts together, but it is very important that we do. Each thought hangs on the one that precedes. Pull one out, and the reality fades away. For example, we might agree that love is important. But if we do not begin with Jesus and our abiding connection to him and his word, we will quickly miss the uniqueness of the love that is required here. Not just any love will do. It must be a love that gives, a love that is like fruit emanating from the connecting vine. The personal connection to the living God must exist, for this is a kind of love that cannot be mustered or even imagined apart from his direct involvement.

I've included the passage from Genesis 1, because it occurs to me that this is not a new idea that Jesus is offering. He is simply restating God's good design which was there in the beginning. Humans are made in God's image, uniquely crafted to reflect God's nature. And that nature is to overflow in giving and creating.

The idea of being fruitful and multiplying should conjure images of rainforests, oceans teeming with life, and yes, bustling cities and thriving rural communities. The earth is brimming over with life and energy and ideas and plans being executed day after day.

And you and I are being called to participate in this global multiplication of new life. We are called to be more than consumers. Rather than spend our days taking from others, we should be drawing inspiration directly from a relationship with God and then spilling out his love into the world that so desperately needs to see Him.

Lord, convince me once again that I am made to bear fruit for you and so glorify you the ultimate Creator. Let me drink daily from your life-giving word, remembering the love you gave by dying for your friends. Let the fruit come directly from you and let it be all for you as well.

By This All Men Will Know

John 13:12-17, 35

When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you?  You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am.  If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.  For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.  Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.  If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them. 

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

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There has truly been no greater teacher. Having walked a hard road and now facing the hardest trial of his life, Jesus spent a last night together with his closest friends. Knowing he would be betrayed by one of these friends, he bends down to wash their feet. And, as if this tangible act of love was not enough, he explains what he is doing in some of the clearest words imaginable.

"Do you understand?" He cares not only that his words and deeds are true, but also that we are getting it. He is going to any lengths to get the message across. I love you. Now go and share my love.

"I have given you an example." A truly great teacher will give examples. Not just catchy illustrations, but personal testimony of how God's truth and grace are active in their life. A great teacher shows you. But the implication is that the learner is willing to watch, willing to get close enough to the teacher to be led firsthand. We must know him closely in order to live like he did.

There is also an implication here that we should be actively pursuing mentoring relationships with fellow believers. By seeing how an older brother or sister has applied their faith to real life situations, and hearing their specific advice for our own situations, we will drink deeply of the most potent source of strength available. Don't hesitate - find a mentor!

"If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them." Zing! It hurts to realize when your knowledge of truth far outweighs the examples in your life where you are living it out. But Jesus didn't just guilt us into walking in fear of our own hypocrisy! He promised we would be more blessed (happy) if we put our knowledge of his love into practice regularly, rather than sit on it and let it fester unused. Hide it under a bushel? NO!

"By this all people will know." True knowledge occurs in both the heart and the mind. We hear propositional truth and give mental assent. But we must also know the One who is the Truth and let his love touch and shape our hearts. And other people will see the truth only when both realities are present. If they only get preached at, that is a half truth. If they only get physical care, that is also a half truth. Jesus displayed both and people will know we follow him by doing likewise.

I pray that we can take active steps to seek wise mentors, that we seek the personal guidance of the great Teacher himself, and then take active steps to love one another today. Grab the towel. Wash someone's feet today. Pursue what Schaeffer called the "final apologetic":

“Yet, without true Christians loving one another, Christ says the world cannot be expected to listen, even when we give proper answers. Let us be careful, indeed, to spend a lifetime studying to give honest answers. For years the orthodox, evangelical church has done this very poorly. So it is well to spend time learning to answer the questions of men who are about us. But after we have done our best to communicate to a lost world, still we must never forget that the final apologetic which Jesus gives is the observable love of true Christians for true Christians.”

Francis Schaffer, The Great Evangelical Disaster, pgs. 164-165

Transformed by His Word

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

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What is the central message of the Bible?  How would you summarize the whole thing?  How can you grasp and understand this message more clearly?  Why should you even try?

One way to answer these questions is found in Deuteronomy 6.  Moses has just finished reiterating the Ten Commandments in the preceding chapter, and chapter 6 provides a culminating statement about God's law, summarizing what He has spoken and what He requires of His chosen people:

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.

For later generations of Jews, this verse became known as the "Shema," the Hebrew word for "Hear." It would also become famous to Christians for its place in the teaching of Jesus.  When Jesus was asked by a lawyer to pick the greatest commandment in all of the Jewish Law, his response was this:

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets. (Matthew 22:37-40)

Not only did Jesus quote the Shema.  He also quoted another passage in the Law referring to love of neighbor as equally important.  And then he went a step further and claimed that all of the Law and Prophets depend upon these two concepts.

1. Love for God
2. Love for Others

In other words, Jesus gave us at least one way to answer the question, "What is the Bible all about?" The answer is: Love God and Love Others.  These two concepts can be used as a lens through which all of Scripture can be understood.

But this also begs the question, "How can I love God and love others?"  And, I think Deuteronomy 6 provides some answers to this "How" question as well.  The answer is: Mediate on His Word.

This passage connects the command to love the Lord with mediating on His Word.  Moses describes several different ways to focus on God's command, all in an effort for us to integrate it more deeply into our lives:

Read/Hear/Memorize - And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart...
Teach - You shall teach them diligently to your children...
Discuss - and shall talk of them...
Everywhere - when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way...
All the time - and when you lie down, and when you rise...
Continuously - You shall bind them as a sign on your hand...
Visually - and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes...
In writing - You shall write them...
Privately and Publicly - on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

So, Deuteronomy 6 is encouraging us to use a variety of methods to integrate God's Word into our lives.  I think that the variety is meant to open doors of creativity.  There is no one perfect way to read or study the Bible, although there are some methods that a particular person might prefer over other methods.

In other words, there is freedom to be creative in how we approach the Bible, because what matters more than the method is the goal of understanding what is written so that we can be transformed to love God more and love others more.

One way to approach the Bible is to see every encounter as a pathway to being transformed.  If we find that we are reading the Bible regularly, but it is not transforming our lives, then perhaps we need to try another method or approach it another way.  I try to see my interaction with Scripture as following these four general steps:

1. Read/Hear…in order to…
2. Meditate…in order to…
3. Understand…in order to…
4. Transform…in order to be more like Jesus

Romans 12:1-2 reminds us that we must always be seeking transformation in our Christian life.  And, this transformation can be achieved through the "renewing of our minds."  Romans 8:29 tells us that God is at work in our lives, steadily shaping us into the image of His Son.  And Colossians 3:10 tells us to "put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator."

All of these passages are just another way of saying that we need to be transformed to be more like Jesus, who was the perfect image of God, and who perfectly exemplified what it means to Love God and Love Others.  The pathway to this transformation is through reading, hearing, meditating, and understanding God's Word.

Now, when you think about the content of God's Word, you may think of heroes and villains and battles and journeys and relationships and miracles and strange visions and prophecies and songs.  You may wonder how all of that can be summarized in "Love God and Love Others."  But truly, the content of Scripture is all about who God is, who we are, what God has done for us, and what He is now doing in our lives.  And these are exactly the kinds of things, when mediated upon, that will inspire more love for God and more love for others.

When we meditate on what God has done for us, it will inspire our love for Him.
When we reflect and understand what He is saying to us, it will transform us to love others more.

Now, I'll give an example from my own life.  There was a time when I struggled to believe that God was pleased with me.  Even though I new the story of Christ dying for me, even though I had experienced His salvation and His presence in my life, I was afraid that He did not love me sometimes.  On days when I could not "feel" His presence or His love, I wondered if it was still there.  I wondered if I had sinned too many times or failed to live up to what He wanted in my life.  How could I know for certain that He was there and that He loved me?

And this is where I can confidently say that God's Word is effective to transform us.  Because at the time that I was struggling with these doubts, I happened to be meditating on Romans 5, which contains much that will inspire our Love for God and Others.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:6-8)

The method of reading I was using at the time was to go for a long walk outside and repeat verses several times out loud until they were memorized.

Yes, I was that guy talking to himself in public.

And, while I might have read this many times before, there was something about meditation and memorization that caused me to rewire my thinking.  Where once I feared the uncertainty of God's love, here I found that it was altogether certain and unchangeable.  For the love that God has for me is not based on my condition, nor based upon my performance, nor based upon any feeling that I might have.  It is, and always will be, based upon something God "showed" or "demonstrated" in real space and time and history.  It was an event that can never be undone or taken away.  God's love was not primarily an experience to be had, but an event to be acknowledged and relied upon.

I can honestly say that reflecting upon this truth has changed me life.  The love that I so desperately craved is altogether mine.  I am known, I am understood, I am forgiven, I am accepted.  And it is done.  And this indeed has inspired love for God and love for others, which was the point all along.

On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.

In conclusion, the Bible can been summed up as a call to Love God and Love Others.  The way to do this effectively is to be transformed by reading and meditating on God's Word, which will inspire these outcomes more and more as you do them.  And the method of the reading and meditating may take on a variety of creative forms and activities - whatever helps you to remember, understand, and be transformed.

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12)

Death by Rules

John 5:6-10

When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be healed?”  The sick man answered him, “Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going another steps down before me.” Jesus said to him, “Get up, take up your bed, and walk.”  And at once the man was healed, and he took up his bed and walked. Now that day was the Sabbath. So the Jews said to the man who had been healed, “It is the Sabbath, and it is not lawful for you to take up your bed.”

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Rules.

Everyone has them. State rules, city rules, traffic rules, dinner etiquette, church etiquette, sports rules. Some rules save lives by preventing and restraining foolish decisions. Like, don't drive the wrong way down a one way street. Some rules are outdated and should change with time and context. Like, don't eat pork (mmmm bacon). And other rules are actually quite deadly. That's what we see in John 5.

For example, when your Maker has shown up in the flesh and starts radically transforming people's lives, your first thought shouldn't be: "Well, we don't do things like that around here! Today is a special day, a religious day! No work allowed, even if it is powerfully loving and kind! No exceptions!"

I say this kind of rule is deadly because of how the passage continues:

And this was why the Jews were persecuting Jesus, because he was doing these things on the Sabbath. But Jesus answered them, “My Father is working until now, and I am working.”  This was why the Jews were seeking all the more to kill him, because not only was he breaking the Sabbath, but he was even calling God his own Father, making himself equal with God. (John 5:16-18)

Ah, now we see why breaking their rules would make them thirsty for blood. Those rules represented their pride, their self- righteousness, and everything that set them apart as God's special elite chosen ones. They had their identities wrapped up in these rules - to belittle the rule was treasonous to them. The rules had blinded them from the purpose of those rules, which was to point them to their holy and loving God.

Paul makes this contrast in 2 Corinthians 3:4-6. He shows us a way to be right with God apart from self-righteous devotion to arbitrary rules:

Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

The letter kills. We've seen that. But in John 5 we clearly see the life-giving Spirit at work in the healing act of Jesus.

Notice how he initiates the healing, how he notices the man, how this man was overlooked for years. Everyone had given up on him, but not Jesus. Notice how others got to the pool before him. The invisible hand of the free market was not going to do him any favors. But the visible hand of Jesus would.

I come away from this passage challenged. I don't want to fall into introspection, examining how I might be letting my rules and self-righteousness lead to being overly critical of others who are doing genuinely good and loving things. There's a time for that. But I want to run a away from the letter that kills and let the life-giving Spirit change and use me in new ways! I want to show initiating love to someone who is overlooked and undeserving. I want to be like Jesus in this way.

Lord, open my eyes today to the needs around me and use me to initiate the love of the Savior toward them in some concrete way.

Private Sins, Public Grace

Psalm 36:1-12

Transgression speaks to the wicked
deep in his heart;
there is no fear of God before his eyes.  
For he flatters himself in his own eyes
that his iniquity cannot be found out and hated. 
The words of his mouth are trouble and deceit;
he has ceased to act wisely and do good.
He plots trouble while on his bed;
he sets himself in a way that is not good;
he does not reject evil. 

Lord, you see and know the atrocities of evil men. You see them plotting in the night, and daydreaming of what they secretly desire. You see their hypocrisy as they justify themselves. You know every secret deep in our hearts.

Your steadfast love, O Lord,
extends to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the clouds.  
Your righteousness is like the mountains of God;
your judgments are like the great deep;
man and beast you save, O Lord. 

 

Father, you contrast the dark hearts of men with a love that stretches from eternity to eternity. You offer your kindness publicly and without shame.

How precious is your steadfast love, O God!
The children of mankind take refuge
in the shadow of your wings. 
They feast on the abundance of your house,
and you give them drink
from the river of your delights. 
For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light do we see light. 

God, your vast heart of love overflows in blessings poured out on the heads of all men. Even those who despise you are daily drinking of your gifts and enjoying your patience. If only they would see the fountain from whom all these delights arise - then they would truly have life.

Oh, continue your steadfast love
to those who know you,
and your righteousness
to the upright of heart! 
Let not the foot of arrogance come upon me,
nor the hand of the wicked drive me away. 
There the evildoers lie fallen;
they are thrust down, unable to rise.

Not one day of life is promised to us, so those who know You ask for a continuing of your kindness and protection. Let the bodies of evil men lie motionless so that injustice and sorrow may finally cease. Bring your judgment and spare those who trust you, by your grace alone!

God's Anger: An Expression of Love

Psalm 30:4, 5

Sing praises to the Lord, O you his saints,
and give thanks to his holy name.
For his anger is but for a moment,
and his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.

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God is love.

The depths of this statement are beyond measure and libraries upon libraries of books could be written and still fall short of conveying the depths of the riches of God's love. We think about the kindness of God to send his beloved Son to die a shameful death in our place. We think about the sweet gentleness of Jesus who cared for little children and who promises to be a good shepherd to his wayward sheep. We think about passages like 1 John 4, where the very nature of love is shown to be rooted in God himself:

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. (1 John 4:7-12 ESV)

So, if God is fundamentally love, and he shapes and models the life of love that he calls us to lead, how is it that he is also angry? The Bible gives numerous examples of God's anger and wrath. In the Old Testament, we see the hardening of Pharaoh's heart and the plagues against Egypt bringing a nation to its knees. We see the anger of God poured out on the Canaanite nations as Joshua leads the Hebrews into the promised land. We see God's judgment revealed against his own people as they are exiled from the promised land and subjugated to the rule of pagan kings in Babylon. Even in the New Testament, we see God strike down Ananias and Sapphira for their duplicity and greed (Acts 5), and we are reminded by Paul that God's wrath is still revealed against all manner of unrighteousness found in mankind (Romans 1:18ff). So how does this anger fit with God's love?

I believe that Psalm 30, and several other passages, provide the answer: God's nature is fundamentally defined by love, but this love can be expressed in anger. Imagine that your home has been invaded and a stranger has abducted your child. You engage the intruder as they are trying to escape with your child. Your heart is pounding, picturing what horrible fate this person has in store for the child you love. That intruder becomes the object of your anger, but only in corresponding measure to the love you hold for your child. The greater your love for the one, the greater your anger for the other. But the love is what is fundamental; the anger is derivative, contingent, a mere expression or byproduct of the love.

One clear example of this concept is found in Matthew 18:

And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. "Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. (Matthew 18:2-6)

Drowning someone in the sea with a millstone around their neck does not sound very loving. But it is clear that this threat of angry judgment is completely fitting when the object of God's love is in danger. The innocent child is most loved when they are defended from injustice, even in a manner that conveys anger to the perpetrator of the injustice.

But what about God's eternal anger toward his creation promised in the threats of damnation in hell? How is hell an expression of love? This is perhaps one of the most difficult questions in all of Christian life and thinking. If I can imagine a God who does not condemn anyone to hell, am I not imagining a God more loving than the God of the Bible? One way to answer this is that our definition of love must not presume to be more right than God's definition of love, even if we can't wrap our head around it. That is one explanation, and there is truth to that. But, I also believe that God's love is reasonable and we must find a way to reasonably and wholeheartedly ascribe to God's definition of love, no matter how non-intuitive it may at first appear.

The only way hell can be an expression of love is by understanding God's love for his glory. The triune God has enjoyed the fellowship of eternal love between the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit for all eternity past and all eternity to come (John 17:20ff). The glorious existence God shares as three persons in One is the fundamental source of value in all the universe. To pervert, distort, undermine, or rebel against this glory is to go against what is most loving and glorious in all the universe - and anger, even eternal judgment, is the corresponding expression of love toward all that would be opposed to his glory. Any sense of justice we experience is actually a shadow of God's love for his glory, since our righteous anger toward crimes against the innocent is really our recognition that God's image in man is being distorted. When we are compelled to defend the dignity and glory of other men, we are truly defending the image and glory of God in man.

A final answer to our trouble with hell is realizing how God has expressed his love in giving us his Son, who takes the penalty of sin away and cancels out any anger or condemnation for those who put their hope in Him. The life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, and the offer of a restored relationship with God - this answers the problem of hell like nothing else can. So, when the psalms remind us that God's anger is for a moment, but his favor is for a lifetime, it tells me that the anger is not what is fundamental to God's nature. Rather, his love and favor and patience are truly his heartbeat. He is slow in one, and abounding in the other. Our experience of love and justice agrees, and the cross of Christ testifies to it. And for that, I will give him all the glory.

The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. (Psalms 103:8)

5 Lessons on Love & Relationships

Hebrews 12:1-2

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

...............

Running can be exhilarating and exhausting. I always love the idea of going for a run, and the first 5 minutes are thrilling - the freedom of getting away, breathing fresh air, and using your whole body to propel yourself forward. But then it starts to hurt. It gets harder to catch your breath, your sides may cramp, your feet and shins start to feel the impact of each step, and you may even encounter a bump that trips you up and throws off your rhythm. Your mind begins tempting you by imagining how nice it would be to stop for a rest. You begin wondering if this is really worth it.

The Bible compares life to a race, and insists that we will only keep running and avoid distractions if we have our eyes fixed on the joy set before us - a vision of joy enticing enough to keep you running even when it hurts. I believe that our sexuality is like running as well. Whether God's plan for you is singleness or marriage, you must have your eyes fixed on the goal of honoring Christ in order to avoid the many pitfalls and obstacles in the way that will distract you and lure you down a different path.

I have been married over six years now, and I have a long way to go on this path myself. But I've learned at least five things along the way that I wish I would have known when I was a teenager. I hope these lessons inspire you to run this race and stay the course:

1. God Invented Sex.

If this is true, it has several implications. First, it means that God is no killjoy or prude. We were created with material bodies that were declared by God to be "very good" (Gen. 1:31), but God saw that it was not good that man should be alone. So, he designed and personally created a partner for man, because Adam and Eve together would reflect God's glory more fully than if he remained alone.

This also means that God himself knows deeper and more powerful pleasures than we can imagine, since our sexuality is merely a dim reflection of his glorious existence as three persons in one. Men and women were made equally in the image and likeness of God, and our capacity for relationship points to the Trinity. Combine the truths of Genesis 1 and John 17, and you get a glimpse of what our sexuality is really about - unity with our Maker and with each other:

Genesis 1:27 ESV

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

John 17:22-24 ESV

The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one,  I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.  Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world.

Another implication of God inventing sex is that he would know best about how and when this sacred gift should be enjoyed. Yes, I'm talking about saving sex for marriage. But before you start yawning, please consider this analogy:

If I gave you $100,000 to buy an Italian sports car, would you jump in right away and put the pedal to the floor, or would you first learn from someone with experience how to drive this powerful machine? Would you risk wrecking this valuable work of art, because you couldn't wait until the right time to drive it?

The reality of this for your sexuality is far more important than wrecking a sports car, because you are risking a far more valuable object (your God-given body) with a far more treacherous fate (the mental prison and wrecked body that you carry with you the rest of your life).

This leads me to my next lesson.

2. Lust is the Opposite of Love.

Lust takes. Love gives.
Lust destroys. Love builds up.
Lust turns others into mere objects.
Love puts others above yourself.

Setting these definitions in your mind can be life-changing, especially when you realize that the only remedy for lust is to replace it with love. One story that drives this home is the story of Amnon and Tamar. King David's son Amnon "loved" his sister Tamar and pretended to be sick in order to deceive her into caring for him, thus getting her alone with him in his bedroom. When they were alone, he forced her into bed, against her will and against her pleas to reconsider this outrageous indecent act. After having his way with her, we learn what his "love" was really all about:

Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, "Get up! Go!" (2 Samuel 13:15 ESV)

Amnon's lust turned his sister into an object - something less than human. Every atrocity in human history can be boiled down to convincing ourselves that others are less than human. And we do the same thing when we lust after others. You may easily agree that Amnon's action toward his sister was immoral, but do you see your lust as just as heinous and disgusting?  Jesus had no hesitation about saying lustful desire was equally as bad as immoral behavior:

"You have heard that it was said, "You shall not commit adultery." But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell. (Matthew 5:27-30 ESV)

Lust amounts to adultery, hatred, and dehumanizing of others for the sake of your sex drive. It is all about you, and ironically it will destroy your life and put you in danger of hell. But the opposite is Christlike love. If you have put your faith in Christ and if you enjoy the forgiveness and love that was purchased for you with his blood, then you will live to reflect that love to others, rather than using them to fulfill you.

3. There is no one "right" person for you.

No one is compatible with you. No one is that special magical person who will fit you perfectly and fulfill you completely. Our culture has flooded us with love stories that are completely unrealistic and will lead us toward great disappointment. For example:

Twilight: There is a perfect guy with no flaws waiting to rescue you from all your problems and love you unconditionally for eternity.

Eternal Sunshine/Dan in Real Life: There is an exciting risk-taking girl who will inspire you to finally live life fully.

Glee: Shallow rapid-fire disposable relationships will eventually lead you to the right person.

Serendipity: Trust in mysterious signs to lead you to love, even if it means hurting others you have already committed to.

These fictional human lovers promise to fulfill us, and their stories draw us in. But they are fiction, and sooner we realize that the better. Holding out hope for this type of person is in actuality another form of lust - its still all about us. I should say also that there are people out there who are less compatible for you than others - when it is time for you to pursue a spouse, you should definitely consider if you both have similar interests, goals, and values. But because you are both sinners you can never be truly compatible - there is no perfect soulmate out there.

But if no one is my soulmate, why pursue a relationship at all? The answer is that you are indeed designed to be in relationship, but not to fulfill yourself. You must be in this to serve, protect, and bless the other person, not yourself. This is true for those who may remain single, who are called to lay down their lives in love to dear brothers and sisters. This is true for relationships within families, like caring for aging parents, or putting the special needs of one sibling before your own. This is true for wives who are called to follow their husbands, and for husbands, who are called in Ephesians 5 to lay down their lives for their brides. This will be the real-life test of whether your Christian faith has any reality: do you believe that laying down your life for another person is better than just using them for your own satisfaction?

The beautiful irony for married couples who take this step of faith is that those who lose their lives for their spouse actually do find incredible joy together, because they are putting each other before themselves in a wonderful cycle of giving and receiving. This is a picture of the gospel: a selfless cross, followed by a resurrection of new life. This leads to my next lesson.

4. Marriage is like crucifixion.

That sounds pretty pessimistic, but if you believe that Jesus really rose from the dead, then you know it's not. Crucifixion was the pathway to eternal life for us, and marriage is no different. This is where my story comes in:

In 2004, I met a girl named Donna, and we dated for a few months. We shared a love for music, guitar-playing, and fellowship in Christ. We were goofy too. Our first date was actually a triple date that was kind of a dare between me and my best friends Joey and Mike. But after a few months, I could not avoid the serious questions about whether I should commit to Donna and take this relationship to the next level. In truth, I was scared - scared of commitment and scared of making the wrong choice. So, I broke it off and we became "just friends." After several more months went by, Donna and I continued to share the same circle of friends and see each other often. I actually got interested in another girl for a time, who I barely knew anything about, but God spared me from getting involved with her. In truth, I was floundering in the experience of my feelings for people, rather than thinking clearly about whether I was actually helping and blessing these women in my life.

One night, I got a painful wake-up call from my roommate, who was himself about to get married at the time. I told him about Donna and my longings to find the right girl for me. His words will never leave me: "There is no right person, Jason. I'm about to get married, but I could have chosen any other girl - it didn't have to be her. But I chose her, the same way Jesus chose to hang on the cross and STAY on the cross, even when he could have easily gotten off at any time. He committed, and that's what I'm going to do. Marriage is not about fulfilling you; it's about choosing to die for that person, and continuing to do so every day of the rest of your life."

This message fundamentally flipped my head upside down. It wasn't about me. It was about reflecting the love of Jesus by committing to one person who may or may not be a perfect for me. And then, I began to see Donna in a completely different light. And I asked her to try again, and today we are happily married with two adorable kiddos. And they all depend on me to die like Jesus every day. 

And it is so worth it.

5. Marriage is a joy worth dying for.

Will it be worth it? Staying pure. Avoiding sexual activity for years before marriage. Avoiding sexual activity for years and maybe never getting married.  Keeping my mind on my schoolwork, on family, and on growing in relationship with Christ and my christian community. It sounds like an uphill battle, and it is. But you won't win this battle unless you truly believe that sexual purity before marriage, during marriage, or even without marriage is all worth the cost. So, why is it worth it?

Far more important than the physical, emotional, and financial benefits of committed marriage is the spiritual impact to you, your family, and the kingdom of God. Donna and I have experienced this impact on our lives already and it has created a joy that is deeper than we ever imagined. Here is what that looks like:

Joy in marriage looks like driving away from our wedding reception, feeling so fully loved and supported by our dearest family and friends.

Joy in marriage looks like staying up late playing cards or sharing stories about our day while lying in bed.

Joy in marriage looks like gripping my wife's hand as the contractions get closer and our daughter's first cries ring loud in the birth room.

Joy in marriage looks like laughing hysterically together when your kids say or do something completely ridiculous.

Joy in marriage looks like finding out your little girl has been diagnosed on the autism spectrum and crying together as we face and overcome our inadequacy and weaknesses.

Joy in marriage looks like rubbing an ice cold snowball in your wife's face and running away like a little girl as she comes after you.

Joy in marriage looks like seeing each other grow in faith as God answers desperate prayers and sustains you through impossible trials.

Joy in marriage looks like loving each other until the very end, sitting by your spouse's hospital bed as they slip away after a lifetime of friendship.

There are too many joys to count, and they are all worth the waiting, the risks, the costs, and the dying.

Consider the running analogy again: God has set the racing path before us, and has called us to begin. He knows best how to run it because he designed it, and furthermore, in Christ, he ran the race himself to show us how the path of Christlike sacrificial love is the only way to honor God with our sexuality.  God is the author and perfecter of our faith, of our lives , and of our sexuality.

So, don't quit running. Keep your eyes on the joy set before you. He is faithful and he will give you the strength if you look to him for grace every day. There is a resurrection and a new life on the other side of that cross.

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

Luke 10:30-37

Jesus replied, "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead.  Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side.  So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.  But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion.  He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him.  And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, 'Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.'  Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?"  He said, "The one who showed him mercy." And Jesus said to him, "You go, and do likewise."

...............

Interpreting parables is a notoriously difficult task. This parable in particular has been the victim of various allegorical interpretations over the course of church history which seek to find one-to-one correspondence for each and every character in the story. Such a method of interpretation requires far too much conjecture to be considered even close to the author's intent. Alternatively, there are four main principles for interpreting parables that should be employed, which I am here borrowing from Robert Stein's An Introduction to the Parables.

1. Seek the one main point of the parable.  Stein observes quite rightly that Jesus tended to reveal the main points of his parables in the opening and concluding remarks that frame the story. In this case, the story is framed by two questions (1) who is my neighbor? and (2) which of the three proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among robbers? So, it is fair to say that the main point of the parable is related to the nature of neighborly love.

2. Seek to understand the historical context in which the parable was uttered. Since Jesus' parables are filled with gritty tangible imagery that is rooted in first century Palestinian culture, it is imperative that we try to gain some insight into what these images might have meant to their original audience. In this parable, the Samaritan was not the benevolent person we think of today, but rather a fiercely hated religious minority. As evidenced in Jesus' encounter with the woman at the well in John 4, Jews normally had no dealings with Samaritans. By seeing this context, we can grasp the shocking aspect of this parable, which makes us question our fundamental assumptions about what God requires of us in relation to our neighbor.

3. Seek to understand how the Evangelist interpreted the parable. This is somewhat easier to discern when there are multiple versions of a parable recorded in the synoptic Gospels. In this case, we can still put this parable in the context of the Evangelist's broader themes. Stein points out that this parable fits at least two of Luke's overall themes: (1) the love of God toward the outcasts of society, and (2) the call for the generous use of our possessions. The good Samaritan is exemplary in showing love for his religious and ethnic enemy and for showing great generosity without any expectation of reciprocity. These themes are fundamental to the uniquely unconditional grace of God displayed in the life and death of Jesus.

4. Seek what God is saying to us today through the parable. The immediate application for us today must be to include even our enemies in the definition of "neighbor" and act lovingly at every opportunity. Who is the Samaritan for us today and how specifically can we love like he did? I will conclude the way Stein does in his chapter on the matter:

"For whom should we especially prove to be a neighbor? Is it our cranky next-door neighbor? Is it the starving child in a far off land whose name we do not know? Is it the person next door who just lost a job? Or is it...? Until the parable speaks to us on this level, we shall never know what it is teaching."

Loving Tax Collectors

Luke 5:30-32

And the Pharisees and their scribes grumbled at his disciples, saying, "Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?" And Jesus answered them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance."

...............

Please add verse 32 of this chapter to the "to-do list" we discussed previously. Here we find that part of Jesus' mission is to call the sick (sinners) to be healed (via repentance). This fits well with Luke 4 and the humble descriptions of those who would receive the blessings Jesus came to give. It is apparent that the religious leaders were surprised by this ministry, even though Isaiah had foretold that the messiah would have this very mission as his aim.

Chapter five describes four types of people that are representative of the "sick" who need Jesus' healing ministry: the fishermen, a leper, a paralytic, and a tax collector. The first three may be more familiar to the humble category, and Jesus' work among them is not immediately questioned. But, when he calls Levi the tax collector, and subsequently eats in his home with a whole collection of his co-workers, it is then that Jesus is openly questioned.

So, what's so radical about befriending a tax collector? It seems that men in this role were generally unpopular in this time and place, probably because they were employees of the Roman government and were the most direct representatives of that foreign power in their midst. The Jews had to pay their taxes to these men directly, which was particularly insulting to the religious leaders. The Pharisees were in fact expecting a messiah who would be a political figure - one who would overthrow the Roman oppressors, not embrace their bureaucrats and share a meal in their home!

But Jesus rightly viewed Levi for who he really was - a man made in the image of God, but in desperate need of a renewed relationship with his Maker. He was among the sick who needed a physician (I'm sure Dr. Luke was a big fan of this metaphor). Notice that Jesus does not condemn the office of tax collector. Note also from chapter 3 that the Roman soldiers who sought out John the Baptist were likewise not told to leave their government jobs, as if they were inherently unholy or displeasing to God. By referring to Levi as "sick" Jesus is describing a universal spiritual condition, but one that only few recognize in themselves.

I pray that no matter my paycheck or status or reputation in life, that I never forget my utter dependence on my gracious savior, who came to call sinners to repentance, not the righteous. I pray further that I would have the same eyes to see my neighbors in the same way, and not unwittingly fall into the judgmental elitism of the Pharisees, who thought that God's favor was for a select few. Give me a heart to love the tax collectors in my life. Amen.

Loaded Questions

Mark 12:12, 13

And they were seeking to arrest him but feared the people, for they perceived that he had told the parable against them. So they left him and went away. And they sent to him some of the Pharisees and some of the Herodians, to trap him in his talk.

...............

Here we find Jesus in a perfect storm of circumstances. Fortunately, Jesus exemplifies complete confidence in God, even when he knows that his enemies and even his friends will soon be turning on him. It is in this context that Jesus is confronted with three loaded questions and demonstrates several traits that can help us when our faith is questioned:

1. Answer with Discernment. "And they came and said to him, "Teacher, we know that you are true and do not care about anyone's opinion. For you are not swayed by appearances, but truly teach the way of God. Is it lawful to pay taxes to Caesar, or not? Should we pay them, or should we not?" (Mark 12:14 ESV). Mark has already told us that these religious leaders were trying to trap Jesus with a loaded question. By making Jesus take a stand on a hot button political issue, they were looking to discredit him and stir up the Roman authorities against him. And they start their question with flattery! It takes real discernment to know others' motives and not run headlong into a semantic trap. (However, you may also discern good motives, as were apparent in the scribe in verse 28. Here we see Jesus being sensitive to the context and encouraging the seeds of apparent faith in the scribe).

2. Answer with both Love and Firmness. Jesus would have been perfectly justified in disregarding these duplicitous questions altogether. Instead he condescends to answer even the petty question from the Sadducees about marriage in the resurrection. Petty questions about religious minutiae drive me crazy, but time after time Jesus (and later Paul) patiently redirected people to what is fundamentally important: the big picture of God's redemption through his Son. But coupled with love must be a direct firmness in correcting obvious errors. Calling out dangerous lies that threaten the core truths of the gospel is in fact the most loving thing you can do in this situation: Jesus said to them, "Is this not the reason you are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God? (Mark 12:24 ESV).

3. Answer with Scripture. The verse quoted above also points to the most powerful lesson that can be taken away from this chapter: be unashamed of basing your answers on the eternal truth of God's revealed Word. Our culture is far from the first century Jewish context, where revelation was respected as a viable source of truth. But even in a purely postmodern context, the simple statement of truth from the Bible can be unexpectedly powerful and convicting. After all, what was it that ultimately convinced me of God's love and truth? Was it not the plain statement of the gospel: that God's Son loved me in his sacrificial death, proved he was God by rising from the dead, and offers new life in the Spirit both now and in eternity? These truths are not the result of observing nature or mere abstract reasoning. The core of the gospel must be our ultimate answer, and it must always be rooted in Scripture to have any lasting affect on the human heart (see Heb. 4:12).

Lord, help me to walk in your Spirit by displaying these Christlike traits in my daily conversations. Help me to properly discern each situation, answer with both love and firmness, and be unashamed in my hope that is revealed in the written word of God. Tame this tongue, Lord, and let it serve to spread the life-changing grace of the gospel. Amen.

God's Daily Indignation

Psalm 7:11

God is a righteous judge,
and a God who feels indignation every day.

...............

Whenever the Bible makes these kinds of blunt characterizations of God, we should stop and think about it for a while.

God is love.
Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
I am that I am.

These statements should give us pause to consider who God is in Himself. And this Psalm is inescapably about God's character as Judge.

Two points to note in this Psalm. One, this is a great example of David calling upon God for justice against his enemies, while also vindicating himself in light of his own integrity. This is a theme throughout the Davidic psalms. For instance:

The LORD judges the peoples;
judge me, O LORD, according to my righteousness
and according to the integrity that is in me (7:8).

You begin to realize what a very bold statement David is making by the time you get to the end of the Psalm. Indeed, the second point in the psalm is that God's wrath is incredibly serious, unstoppable, and completely fair. We see in the verse at the top that God feels, that God not only feels love and joy, but also wrath, and that God feels this wrath everyday! This is very serious. "If a man does not repent, God will whet his sword; he has bent and readied his bow; he has prepared for him his deadly weapons, making his arrows fiery shafts" (7:12-13). So, we see that God feels indignation against sin, and that this wrath is serious and deadly. But, let's not forget that it is also fair. As David describes the targets of God's anger, he makes this statement:

His mischief returns upon his own head,
and on his own skull his violence descends (7:16).

While it is not common in devotional life to dwell on the wrath of God, we must stop and consider this part of God's feelings. I'm not so sure that wrath is "essential" to God's nature, as He surely had none in eternity past, when He lived in perfect harmony within the love of the Trinity. But, because of the Fall, He has justly responded to man's sin by first cursing us and then eventually bringing all thoughts and deeds into judgment. There will be a final separation, and God will be entirely just in letting man's mischief return "upon his own head."

SPECIAL REPORT - My Excellent Wife

Proverbs 31:10-11

An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trust in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.

...............

I had the rare opportunity last night to eavesdrop on a conversation between my wife and one of her best friends, Bethany. They were discussing parenting and getting into the details of correction and discipline, as well as the fundamentals of how we should view our children -- primarily as sinners, or as bearers of God's image. The more I listened, the more grateful and undeserving I felt. What a shame that I do not realize EVERY day what a treasure of wisdom and thoughtfulness I have here in my own house. I am so blessed to have a wife who is both my best friend and deepest love. I pray that she is blessed today in knowing how much I love and appreciate her...

Donna, you have given me every reason to trust in you.

You have carried our second child through months of sickness and weakness, all while caring for Gracie with your whole heart. You've given until it hurts, and then gave some more. You've prayed for me, encouraged me, and served me too many times to count.

I know that you will do me good, and not harm, all the days of your life.

You have proven time and again how to pinch a penny, make a dollar go farther, and find creative ways to get us through to the next paycheck. You've denied yourself dozens of times by putting off haircuts, buying generic off-brands, and considering the future before the decisions of today. You work your butt off, both in physical effort and intellectually, doing your research on parenting and real estate and cake decorating. These efforts, I truly know, are part of how you are strengthening this household.

You have dressed yourself with strength and made your arms strong.

I look to you before anyone else in my moments of doubt and confusion. You are a woman of incredible wisdom, not satisfied with pat answers, but digging deeply to find a genuine answer for the toughest questions. You are a woman of conviction, and you have stuck with your conscience so many times, even when there were few (or none) around you who agreed. That is true humility. You've put our family even above your own reputation, and I love you for it.

You open your mouth in wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on your tongue.

I am so very grateful for your sacrifice, for your constant affection and encouragement, and for the wisdom and thoughtfulness that you exude in every circumstance. You are truly praiseworthy, my bride and my friend. I will trust you all of my days, because I know that you are on my side, for my good, and for the good of our family.

Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her.
P.S. Thanks for packing my lunch today! You are so sweet!