Praise & Lament

Psalm 40:10-11

I have not hidden your deliverance within my heart;
I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation;
I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness from the great congregation. 
As for you, O Lord, you will not restrain your mercy from me;
your steadfast love and your faithfulness will ever preserve me!

...............

As many lament psalms do, Psalm 40 follows a basic structure. Cries for help are interwoven with declarations of God's character and promises. It is not simply a lament followed by an affirmation of faith, nor the reverse, an affirmation followed by a plea for deliverance. These two realities go back and forth in the life of the believer. Sometimes in the same breath. We make bold professions of faith in the real power and goodness of our Savior. And at the same time, we wrestle with very real circumstances that shake this faith and make us desperate.

On the one hand, the psalmist is confident in the mercy and kindness of God. More than once he points to the thoughts of God toward us and the deeds of God toward us. It is astounding that God thinks of us! He cares for our daily needs. He has shown himself kind in a multitude of ways, if we would but slow down and count them.

Food on the table
Money in the bank account
Clothes on our backs
A job to work each day
Friends to share laughter with
Family to share burdens and joys
Breath in our lungs

Each day becomes a precious gift as we remember that life is so fragile and yet filled with incredible potential.

You have multiplied, O Lord my God,
your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us;
none can compare with you!
I will proclaim and tell of them,
yet they are more than can be told.(40:5)

And we are called upon to proclaim the many blessings and signs of God's kindness so that others will know. This psalm is calling us to sing loud and sing proud! And it is an example for us to follow as we encourage others in our lives to do the same. May we count our blessings and call others to do the same. It may be the very thing they need to remember that day.

On the other hand, the psalmist is clearly walking through hard circumstances. The call to boldness co-mingles with cries for help! In fact, it is the very goodness and promise of God that grounds our request for help. The reminder of his character bolsters and amplifies our prayers for assistance because this sharpens our focus on the One to whom we pray.

Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me!
O Lord, make haste to help me!(40:13)

Let us be deeply encouraged that our prayers do not rise into the air in vain. There is a mighty and gracious God listening, giving thought to our situation and working it out for good. As we cry those tears, he is catching them one by one. And the pathway to our deliverance is to integrate praise into our prayers for help. As we proclaim his past deliverance, his present character, and his future promised care, we find new faith swelling in our hearts.

One last thought: as you read the Psalms, notice the punctuation marks. The pauses. The question marks. And in this case, the exclamation marks! Even in times of trial, may our faith shine and our words exclaim something clear and true. God has not changed and his promised salvation is but moments away.

True Hunger and True Bread

John 6:53-58

So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you.  Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.  For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink.  Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him.  As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever feeds on me, he also will live because of me.  This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like the bread the fathers ate, and died. Whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.”

...............

As we began reading John, we drew our attention to the theme verse in chapter 20 verse 31:

...these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.

Each chapter of John's account adds another layer of meaning to this twofold thesis, answering the two most important questions a person can ever ask:

Who is Jesus?
Why does that matter in my real life?

And chapter 6 is no exception. Here we see Jesus comparing himself to the manna that appeared each day to feed the Israelites in the wilderness for 40 years. He even calls himself the Bread of Life which has come down from heaven. What does this mean? What does this tell us about Jesus and about ourselves?

Well, it is safe to say that Jesus is not made of bread, and therefore he was not expecting anyone to eat him, cannibal-style. The crowd asks about this, either out of mockery or just willful ignorance. The context includes several references to the manna of old, clearly showing that he was speaking symbolically. He did the same in chapter 3, concerning the serpent which was raised up for Israel's healing. Jesus is saying something profound about himself, not that he is today's special on the dinner menu.

So, if not cannibalism, then what does the bread metaphor mean for us? It might be easy to say that Jesus should satisfy our soul's deepest need and hunger. But what is that hunger and how do we obtain or ingest this promised bread-like satisfaction?

First, what is this hunger that defines our human condition? It manifests itself in many ways: lust for material trinkets, cravings for control in our lives, desire for success or to always be right, longings for relationships, hunger for comfort and ease. These hungers are sometimes rooted in good desires, but they quickly become inflated into ultimate desires.

In his book Counterfeit Gods, Tim Keller describes how our hungers can become idolatry:

"What is an idol? It is anything more important to you than God, anything that absorbs your heart and imagination more than God, anything you seek to give you what only God can give."

Each of us knows what that idol is, what it is we hunger for most. What do you daydream about? If you have plans cancel and 2 hours of unexpected free time, how do you spend it? Could you stand before the Savior who died for you and tell him that he is your treasure? Is he the bread you hunger for?

So, what if we admit that we don't hunger for him? What if we admit that he doesn't attract us or seem to satisfy us like he once did?

Perhaps we are double blind: blind to our hunger and blind to his fulfilling richness. How do we open our eyes to see this richness and savor it again?

A typical church answer might be bible-reading and prayer - this is how to take in this bread and find satisfaction - and there is some truth to that. But, what if we've tried that and still feel hungry? What if we keep trying to pray and our minds are either distracted or simply unable to imagine something lovely about Jesus? What if the Bible is just words on the page?

Jesus says to us, I am the Bread of Life. He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood will have eternal life and be raised on the last day. Do we want that? Do I want to live forever? Do I daydream about heaven? Do I have vivid imaginings about finally seeing a bright new earth in 20/20 vision - no more glasses, no more fog!

Jesus links the satisfying nature of the bread to a promise of resurrection, and I think that is the key here. We are dead in sins and craving filth like the foolish prodigal son, while all the while our loving Father waits with a home, a family, a fattened calf, and a welcome party in our honor! His robe and his ring he will place on our undeserving bodies as we finally admit we are empty and hungry.

Admit it. You're hungry, you're weak, you're lost in the dark. And your greatest need can be met only in the One who shaped your heart and died to bring you to Himself. Accept it. Cherish it. And then you can learn each day how to eat new manna, just as the Israelites had to gather it day after day.

Look for it and you will find it. In His word, in the smile of a dear friend, in the gift of each breath.

And believe, for that is the work which he actually says to do in this very chapter (6:29), and everything hinges on it. Believe that heaven awaits and all you have to do is admit your brokenness and take what is offered. Believe in the holy God who became a simple man and entered into our messed up world. Be captivated by such love that went to such lengths for such ungrateful men. Believe it and pray that daily bread of forgiveness and a forgiving heart - to accept him and become more like him.

Believe it, and it's yours.

5 Lessons on Love & Relationships

Hebrews 12:1-2

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

...............

Running can be exhilarating and exhausting. I always love the idea of going for a run, and the first 5 minutes are thrilling - the freedom of getting away, breathing fresh air, and using your whole body to propel yourself forward. But then it starts to hurt. It gets harder to catch your breath, your sides may cramp, your feet and shins start to feel the impact of each step, and you may even encounter a bump that trips you up and throws off your rhythm. Your mind begins tempting you by imagining how nice it would be to stop for a rest. You begin wondering if this is really worth it.

The Bible compares life to a race, and insists that we will only keep running and avoid distractions if we have our eyes fixed on the joy set before us - a vision of joy enticing enough to keep you running even when it hurts. I believe that our sexuality is like running as well. Whether God's plan for you is singleness or marriage, you must have your eyes fixed on the goal of honoring Christ in order to avoid the many pitfalls and obstacles in the way that will distract you and lure you down a different path.

I have been married over six years now, and I have a long way to go on this path myself. But I've learned at least five things along the way that I wish I would have known when I was a teenager. I hope these lessons inspire you to run this race and stay the course:

1. God Invented Sex.

If this is true, it has several implications. First, it means that God is no killjoy or prude. We were created with material bodies that were declared by God to be "very good" (Gen. 1:31), but God saw that it was not good that man should be alone. So, he designed and personally created a partner for man, because Adam and Eve together would reflect God's glory more fully than if he remained alone.

This also means that God himself knows deeper and more powerful pleasures than we can imagine, since our sexuality is merely a dim reflection of his glorious existence as three persons in one. Men and women were made equally in the image and likeness of God, and our capacity for relationship points to the Trinity. Combine the truths of Genesis 1 and John 17, and you get a glimpse of what our sexuality is really about - unity with our Maker and with each other:

Genesis 1:27 ESV

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

John 17:22-24 ESV

The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one,  I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.  Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world.

Another implication of God inventing sex is that he would know best about how and when this sacred gift should be enjoyed. Yes, I'm talking about saving sex for marriage. But before you start yawning, please consider this analogy:

If I gave you $100,000 to buy an Italian sports car, would you jump in right away and put the pedal to the floor, or would you first learn from someone with experience how to drive this powerful machine? Would you risk wrecking this valuable work of art, because you couldn't wait until the right time to drive it?

The reality of this for your sexuality is far more important than wrecking a sports car, because you are risking a far more valuable object (your God-given body) with a far more treacherous fate (the mental prison and wrecked body that you carry with you the rest of your life).

This leads me to my next lesson.

2. Lust is the Opposite of Love.

Lust takes. Love gives.
Lust destroys. Love builds up.
Lust turns others into mere objects.
Love puts others above yourself.

Setting these definitions in your mind can be life-changing, especially when you realize that the only remedy for lust is to replace it with love. One story that drives this home is the story of Amnon and Tamar. King David's son Amnon "loved" his sister Tamar and pretended to be sick in order to deceive her into caring for him, thus getting her alone with him in his bedroom. When they were alone, he forced her into bed, against her will and against her pleas to reconsider this outrageous indecent act. After having his way with her, we learn what his "love" was really all about:

Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, "Get up! Go!" (2 Samuel 13:15 ESV)

Amnon's lust turned his sister into an object - something less than human. Every atrocity in human history can be boiled down to convincing ourselves that others are less than human. And we do the same thing when we lust after others. You may easily agree that Amnon's action toward his sister was immoral, but do you see your lust as just as heinous and disgusting?  Jesus had no hesitation about saying lustful desire was equally as bad as immoral behavior:

"You have heard that it was said, "You shall not commit adultery." But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell. (Matthew 5:27-30 ESV)

Lust amounts to adultery, hatred, and dehumanizing of others for the sake of your sex drive. It is all about you, and ironically it will destroy your life and put you in danger of hell. But the opposite is Christlike love. If you have put your faith in Christ and if you enjoy the forgiveness and love that was purchased for you with his blood, then you will live to reflect that love to others, rather than using them to fulfill you.

3. There is no one "right" person for you.

No one is compatible with you. No one is that special magical person who will fit you perfectly and fulfill you completely. Our culture has flooded us with love stories that are completely unrealistic and will lead us toward great disappointment. For example:

Twilight: There is a perfect guy with no flaws waiting to rescue you from all your problems and love you unconditionally for eternity.

Eternal Sunshine/Dan in Real Life: There is an exciting risk-taking girl who will inspire you to finally live life fully.

Glee: Shallow rapid-fire disposable relationships will eventually lead you to the right person.

Serendipity: Trust in mysterious signs to lead you to love, even if it means hurting others you have already committed to.

These fictional human lovers promise to fulfill us, and their stories draw us in. But they are fiction, and sooner we realize that the better. Holding out hope for this type of person is in actuality another form of lust - its still all about us. I should say also that there are people out there who are less compatible for you than others - when it is time for you to pursue a spouse, you should definitely consider if you both have similar interests, goals, and values. But because you are both sinners you can never be truly compatible - there is no perfect soulmate out there.

But if no one is my soulmate, why pursue a relationship at all? The answer is that you are indeed designed to be in relationship, but not to fulfill yourself. You must be in this to serve, protect, and bless the other person, not yourself. This is true for those who may remain single, who are called to lay down their lives in love to dear brothers and sisters. This is true for relationships within families, like caring for aging parents, or putting the special needs of one sibling before your own. This is true for wives who are called to follow their husbands, and for husbands, who are called in Ephesians 5 to lay down their lives for their brides. This will be the real-life test of whether your Christian faith has any reality: do you believe that laying down your life for another person is better than just using them for your own satisfaction?

The beautiful irony for married couples who take this step of faith is that those who lose their lives for their spouse actually do find incredible joy together, because they are putting each other before themselves in a wonderful cycle of giving and receiving. This is a picture of the gospel: a selfless cross, followed by a resurrection of new life. This leads to my next lesson.

4. Marriage is like crucifixion.

That sounds pretty pessimistic, but if you believe that Jesus really rose from the dead, then you know it's not. Crucifixion was the pathway to eternal life for us, and marriage is no different. This is where my story comes in:

In 2004, I met a girl named Donna, and we dated for a few months. We shared a love for music, guitar-playing, and fellowship in Christ. We were goofy too. Our first date was actually a triple date that was kind of a dare between me and my best friends Joey and Mike. But after a few months, I could not avoid the serious questions about whether I should commit to Donna and take this relationship to the next level. In truth, I was scared - scared of commitment and scared of making the wrong choice. So, I broke it off and we became "just friends." After several more months went by, Donna and I continued to share the same circle of friends and see each other often. I actually got interested in another girl for a time, who I barely knew anything about, but God spared me from getting involved with her. In truth, I was floundering in the experience of my feelings for people, rather than thinking clearly about whether I was actually helping and blessing these women in my life.

One night, I got a painful wake-up call from my roommate, who was himself about to get married at the time. I told him about Donna and my longings to find the right girl for me. His words will never leave me: "There is no right person, Jason. I'm about to get married, but I could have chosen any other girl - it didn't have to be her. But I chose her, the same way Jesus chose to hang on the cross and STAY on the cross, even when he could have easily gotten off at any time. He committed, and that's what I'm going to do. Marriage is not about fulfilling you; it's about choosing to die for that person, and continuing to do so every day of the rest of your life."

This message fundamentally flipped my head upside down. It wasn't about me. It was about reflecting the love of Jesus by committing to one person who may or may not be a perfect for me. And then, I began to see Donna in a completely different light. And I asked her to try again, and today we are happily married with two adorable kiddos. And they all depend on me to die like Jesus every day. 

And it is so worth it.

5. Marriage is a joy worth dying for.

Will it be worth it? Staying pure. Avoiding sexual activity for years before marriage. Avoiding sexual activity for years and maybe never getting married.  Keeping my mind on my schoolwork, on family, and on growing in relationship with Christ and my christian community. It sounds like an uphill battle, and it is. But you won't win this battle unless you truly believe that sexual purity before marriage, during marriage, or even without marriage is all worth the cost. So, why is it worth it?

Far more important than the physical, emotional, and financial benefits of committed marriage is the spiritual impact to you, your family, and the kingdom of God. Donna and I have experienced this impact on our lives already and it has created a joy that is deeper than we ever imagined. Here is what that looks like:

Joy in marriage looks like driving away from our wedding reception, feeling so fully loved and supported by our dearest family and friends.

Joy in marriage looks like staying up late playing cards or sharing stories about our day while lying in bed.

Joy in marriage looks like gripping my wife's hand as the contractions get closer and our daughter's first cries ring loud in the birth room.

Joy in marriage looks like laughing hysterically together when your kids say or do something completely ridiculous.

Joy in marriage looks like finding out your little girl has been diagnosed on the autism spectrum and crying together as we face and overcome our inadequacy and weaknesses.

Joy in marriage looks like rubbing an ice cold snowball in your wife's face and running away like a little girl as she comes after you.

Joy in marriage looks like seeing each other grow in faith as God answers desperate prayers and sustains you through impossible trials.

Joy in marriage looks like loving each other until the very end, sitting by your spouse's hospital bed as they slip away after a lifetime of friendship.

There are too many joys to count, and they are all worth the waiting, the risks, the costs, and the dying.

Consider the running analogy again: God has set the racing path before us, and has called us to begin. He knows best how to run it because he designed it, and furthermore, in Christ, he ran the race himself to show us how the path of Christlike sacrificial love is the only way to honor God with our sexuality.  God is the author and perfecter of our faith, of our lives , and of our sexuality.

So, don't quit running. Keep your eyes on the joy set before you. He is faithful and he will give you the strength if you look to him for grace every day. There is a resurrection and a new life on the other side of that cross.

Counting the Cost

Luke 9:23-26
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And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.  For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.  For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?  For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words, of him will the Son of Man be ashamed when he comes in his glory and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels." 

...............
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There is a cost to following Jesus, and the cost is your life.
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This chapter provides several examples of disciples who were not paying the cost and following Jesus as they should. They were:

-Being ruled by doubt rather than trusting the power of God to heal and provide (v. 13 & 30).
-Claiming greatness and exclusivity for yourself rather than child-like gratitude and grace toward others (v. 46-56).
-Putting any earthly priority ahead of the demands of God's kingdom (v. 47-52).
-Having merely the right answers without a willingness to obey at any cost (v. 20).
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Verses 23-26 give the core summary statement of the chapter and elaborate on what real discipleship looks like: Christ crucified. Jesus showed us in his life and death what obedience to God was all about. It looks like:

-denying yourself on a daily basis,
-looking to the needs of others,
-being sensitive to the leadership of the Spirit,
-being willing to lose what is most dear to you for his sake,
-setting your face on the calling he has for you,
-never being ashamed of him or his words
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This chapter leaves me shuddering, knowing how often I have failed to honor my God and king who has given so much for me. But Jesus does not tell us to lose our lives and deny ourselves as an end in itself. This is not mere asceticism. This is about gaining something greater than anything the world can offer. It is the man who loses his small petty life of empty pleasures who will ultimately be welcomed by God when he comes with his angels to judge the world. You must lose this life in order to save your eternal soul. And that is a prize well worth the cost, even a daily cost of putting off the old desires and putting on the likeness of Christ (Col. 3:1-17).
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Lord, have mercy to grant me new eyes to see the things I crave and covet in this world are so small and petty compared to the greatness of knowing you and living for you each day. Help me to believe that by laying down my life for others, I will find true joy, if not in this life, then most definitely in the New Heavens and New Earth. Help me to believe like Paul:
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"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead." (Philippians 3:7-11)

In Memory of Lynn

Psalm 16:9-11

Therefore my heart is glad,
and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

...............

These words were so powerfully exemplified in the life of Lynn McGary. While I only knew her for a relatively short while, she convinced me that true joy could only be found in a deeply experienced relationship with God, through Christ. There is no other way to explain the fullness of joy that characterized her during periods of such physical pain and suffering. Lynn found her joy in the presence of her Savior, and it showed.

The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.

There are very few people who have experienced a life of complete dependence on God. Lynn, you have made the Lord your portion in ways that have been truly amazing. You have seen miracles great and small: bills paid, needs met, people saved, and lives transformed. You have spent your life banking on the "beautiful inheritance" of obedience to God, rather than experiencing the "sorrows of those who run after another god."

I bless the LORD who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me.

We can sing with the psalmist about the gratitude we feel for Lynn's incredible counsel. How did you have the strength to stay up into the morning hours, pouring out your wisdom to bumbling young people? How could you know that your words would fundamentally shape the way that Donna and I look at each other, look at our children, and look at the world God has made? You knew, because you were drawing up the waters of wisdom from a well that has stood the test of time: the eternal Word. Truly, God has used you to "make known to me the path of life."

The last time we saw you, you were lying in a hospital bed. We came all that way to perhaps bring some small bit of comfort or encouragement. But, when we brought Gracie in to see you, you mustered the strength to smile, and even play peek-a-boo using your oxygen mask. Your fullness of joy could not be overcome. Instead, your joy overflowed and overcame the sadness. You depended upon the Source of life, and He shone through you so brightly, it was almost too much to behold.

Why did you love so deeply, so joyfully, so selflessly?

I want to spend the rest of my life finding out.

Thank you for the life you gave.